THE LIVE ALBOM
* Everyone’s talking about this movie, “Field of Dreams,” in which a baseball voice comes to Kevin Costner and says: “If you build it, he will come.”
* Tom Monaghan says the same thing to the mayor about a new stadium.
* How about Pete Rose in “Field of Schemes”: If you open the $3 window, he will come.
* Or John Salley in “Field of Deals”: If you can endorse it, he will come.
* Well, congratulations to Jack McCloskey, who took a lot of heat this season for building a team known as the Bad Boys. Not that Jack minded. After all, he himself was once part of the Dirty Dozen.
* “Field of Seams” starring Chuck Daly: If you tailor it, he will come.
* Speaking of the Pistons, why am I suddenly hearing rumors of Aguirre-Laimbeer-Salley for Charles Barkley? Or Edwards- Williams for Ralph Sampson? Hey. Didn’t the Pistons just win the NBA championship? Why are we breaking them up?
* I think the loss of Rick Mahorn opened the floodgates for trade talk. Had he stayed, who’d even whisper about tampering with the roster?
* By the way, I’d like to take the NBA genius who held the expansion draft on the same day as our parade . . . and stick him under a float.
* Correct me if I’m wrong here: Didn’t we throw out those Batman shirts about 15 years ago?
* Nice to see Tommy Hearns in the Pistons’ locker room after the championship. He looked solid as ever. Just ask Isiah Thomas, who broke his hand in April hitting Hearns, also known as Bill Cartwright.
* Emanuel Steward says a rematch of Hearns-Sugar Ray Leonard is inevitable because “Ray is haunted now by Tommy.” Well. There’s a switch.
* Quick. What was the Tigers’ score last night? What city are they in? Who is their latest pitcher?
* Relax, they were off. You haven’t completely forgotten them yet.
* Well, Wimbledon is coming up, which means I get to see Pam Shriver again. I like her style. But I think she should eat more spinach, as Popeye told her back when she was Olive Oyl. SHAKESPEARE’S OPINION ON THE CASE A Rose by any other name Would smell as Pete
* Translation: He did it.
* Even if that’s true, however, everyone deserves due process. It frightens me that one individual such as Bartlett Giamatti (and I never trust a man named after a pear) could wield the power to ban a guy for life from his occupation. I don’t blame Rose for trying to go to the public courts, the same way a layman might if he felt he was unfairly laid off.
* Even so, Giamatti can’t fool me with this tough guy bit. He’ll be generous with Rose, as he is with all of us, every December, on that special day. . . .
CUTLINES: Jack (Jack) McCloskey Jack (Lee) Marvin Mr. Bill Mr. Tom Popeye’s …. Pam? Ho, ho . . . Bart?