* Detroit 21, Houston 20: I got five bucks. Maybe you got five bucks. If we all put our money together, maybe we can pay Mel Gray to play for the Lions by Sunday. Pick vs. spread: Houston.
* Minnesota 28, Cleveland 21: The Browns will never win again. We just got the word. Never for a million years. Pick vs. spread: Cleveland.
* San Diego 24, Arizona 10: The question is no longer will Buddy Ryan be doing something else next year, but what? Pick vs. spread: San Diego.
* Buffalo 31, St. Louis 20: Chris Miller insists that — WHOA! — the concussions he has suffered — INCOMING! — have had — DUCK! MONSTERS! — no effect on him whatsoever. Pick vs. spread: Buffalo.
* Chicago 31, Cincinnati 30: Carl Pickens was watching the Bears’ secondary Monday night and salivating. Pick vs. spread: Cincinnati.
* Dallas 30, Philadelphia 14: Charles Haley had some week. First he retired. Then he was put on injured reserve. Then he vowed to come back. Geez. I wonder what he has planned for Monday. Pick vs. spread: Dallas.
* Indianapolis 20, Jacksonville 18: Wasn’t Marshall Faulk supposed to be a household name by now? Pick vs. spread: Jacksonville.
* Atlanta 23, New Orleans 20: It isn’t possible for June Jones to blow two games in a row by himself, is it? Pick vs. spread: New Orleans.
* New England 20, NY Jets 6: Football has been pretty much a washout in the Northeast this year, hasn’t it? Pick vs. spread: New England.
* San Francisco 50, Carolina 2: You don’t think the 49ers are still a little angry over the Panthers’ upsetting them last month? Pick vs. spread: San Francisco.
* Oakland 20, Pittsburgh 16: Not because they’re better. Because it matters to them more. Pick vs. spread: Oakland.
* Denver 24, Seattle 10: Is it just me, or is every team in football these days either 6-7 or 7-6? Pick vs. spread: Denver.
* NY Giants 4, Washington 3: Why bother? Pick vs. spread: Washington.
* Green Bay 27, Tampa Bay 17: How happy do you think the Packers were to see this road game on the schedule in December? Cocoa butter, anyone? Pick vs. spread: Green Bay.
* Kansas City 24, Miami 20 (Monday night): The sturdiest thing on the Dolphins is Don Shula’s jaw. Pick vs. spread: Kansas City.
* Last week: 9-5.
* Season: 81-69 (I got a late start).
* Last week vs. spread: 5-9.
* Season vs. spread: 68-79-3.
* Mitch vs. Curt (vs. spread): Curt Sylvester leads Albom by 11 games, 79-68-3 to 68-79-3. The sports writer with the best record gets his choice of teams in the Freep’s annual Great Super Bowl Debate. The debate will appear the day before Super Bowl XXX in Tempe, Ariz.
* Best pick last week: Kansas City 26, Oakland 24 (Chiefs won, 29-23).
* Worst pick last week: New England 21, New Orleans 10 (Saints won, 31-17).
Mitch Albom will sign copies of his new book, “Live Albom IV,” 1-2 p.m. today, B Dalton, Eastland Mall, Harper Woods.