INGLEWOOD, Calif. — Because tonight’s big game is at the Forum, and the Lakers are favored, and the Pistons are hurting, I must recommend the following to LA fans:
Get out of town! Quick! While you can!
Come on, Mike. I told you last week. You think we’re worried? You think Game 7 in the NBA final scares Detroit? Hey. Bobo Head. Can’t you tell a good script when you see one?
This is “Rocky.” This is “The Karate Kid.” This is Cinderella in size 16 slippers. The Pistons are only fulfilling their destiny here, a storybook ending. “Run and See It!” the reviews will read. Might as well, Mikey. You won’t have anything else to do this summer.
So what if Isiah Thomas can barely walk? So what if the Pistons should already have won this title twice? Don’t you understand? We’re milking this thing. We want a mini-series.
Here is what the Pistons have already proven: 1. Their defense is superior.
2. Their bench is superior. 3. Thomas and Adrian Dantley can carve you up like turkey.
And the Lakers? They have proven Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can make two free throws.
Sorry, pal. Fun is fun, and we’d like to do this all summer, but we’ve got to rap with the Prez at the White House. So we’ll be checking out tonight, along with the NBA crown and a few of those towels from the hotel. Don’t worry. We left the small ones behind. You can cry in those.
Have a nice day.