* DOLPHINS 31, LIONS 17: I remember in 1985, when Don Shula was dealing with the Lions in a possible trade for the NFL rights to Anthony Carter. The Lions got picky. Shula said, “Who do these guys think they are?” And he traded Carter to Minnesota instead. Six years later, Shula has the same attitude toward the Lions. And, unfortunately, he’s gonna get his way again.
* NY GIANTS 23, CHICAGO 20: Lawrence Taylor is complaining. He says he gets mugged by opponents on every play. Hey, LT. You’re from New York. They’re just trying to make you feel at home.
* WASHINGTON 24, PHOENIX 21: Think Joe Bugel kept one of the Redskins’ playbooks when he left Washington?
* ATLANTA 20, SAN DIEGO 13: Chargers too nice. Falcons too nasty.
* SAN FRANCISCO 28, MINNESOTA 26: First, they said Joe Montana’s injury wasn’t serious. Then they said four weeks. Now they say maybe the whole season. Next thing you know, they’ll be freezing his body until someone invents a cure.
* GREEN BAY 9, TAMPA BAY 7: I wouldn’t watch this game if you stuck needles in my eye.
* PITTSBURGH 28, NEW ENGLAND 7: Needles in both eyes.
* DALLAS 24, PHILADELPHIA 17: Let’s face it. The Eagles without Randall are like the Stones without Mick.
* CLEVELAND 20, CINCINNATI 19: Once again, the battle for Ohio. Winner gets Akron.
* BUFFALO 30, NY JETS 17: Joe Namath is doing the commentating for this one. The Jets might need him to suit up by halftime.
* LA RAIDERS 23, INDIANAPOLIS 12: Eric Dickerson, who used to play for the Rams, returns to LA. After the game, he refuses to get back on the plane to Indy.
* NEW ORLEANS 21, LA RAMS 17: But that was a hell of a winning streak for the Rams, wasn’t it?
* DENVER 106, SEATTLE 99: Scott Hastings scores 23 points.
* HOUSTON 35, KANSAS CITY 20 (Monday night): Oilers this year are like a big truck on a small highway.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 11-3.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 7-7.
* SEASON RECORD: 18-10.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 11-16-1.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: LA Raiders 19, Denver 17 (Raiders won, 16-13).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: NY Giants 34, LA Rams 10 (Rams won, 19-13).