THE LIVE ALBOM

* Well, it’s almost back-to-school time. Which means our fall sports reading list is out. Among the new titles we’ll be seeing come September:
* “No Runs, No Hits, We Win” by Sparky Anderson.

* “Barney Rubble: Man or Myth?” by George Perles.
* “Aw, !&!”: The Kirk Gibson Story.
* Glad to see Eric Hipple back in action out at Lions training camp. I guess that means we won’t be seeing any more of those movies under his stage name, Jeff Daniels.
* If you ask me, Peter Pocklington did it.
* Of course, in LA, Wayne Gretzky won’t be just “The Great One” anymore. From now on, he’ll be “The Ohmigosh, Like Too Cool, I’m Sure One.”
* I guess they won’t be renting many copies of “The Flamingo Kid” in Edmonton this winter, huh?
* Speaking of that, it’s now official: This is the “Year Of The Sports Wife.” Wade Boggs’ wife. Mike Tyson’s wife. Now Wayne Gretzky’s wife.
* They should get together and cut a song: “Wife In The Fast Lane.”
* Football. New York. I have a question: Can anyone at Jets camp be taking Mark Gastineau seriously?
* I mean, everywhere you look, he’s in a magazine, half-nude, posing with Brigitte Nielsen. I know he already wears the headband, but does he throw the machine gun over his shoulder and mumble like Sylvester Stallone, too?
* Meanwhile, the new “get tough” attitude at Lions camp has apparently spread to the coaching staff. Players say assistant coach Wayne Fontes can’t stop yelling: “One of these days, Alice. Bang! Zoom! Right to the moon!”
* Call me crazy. I have faith in Bill Lajoie.
* Just the same, I offer the following poem: A TIGER FAN LAMENT

I think that I shall never see,

a pitch as lovely as “strike three.”

I only pray I one day view

some Tigers crossing home plate, too.
* His Sox have gone from red to white and he has now caught more games than any American League catcher. But to me, Carlton Fisk will always be in Fenway Park on an October evening in 1975, waving at a baseball and urging it to stay

fair for the game-winning home run.
* You do remember that, don’t you?
* More Books: “Sports writers I Have Known And Loved” by Guillermo Hernandez.
* “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” by Dexter Manley.
* “How Do You Spel Relif?” by Jimy Williams.
* If the Dodgers win the NL West, they ought to send the Tigers a thank-you note. First, they back off a ready-to-go trade with the Tigers of Pedro Guerrero for Kirk Gibson. Then they end up with Gibson anyway when a judge rules against Detroit. Then, with Gibson in hand, they can deal Guerrero for pitcher John Tudor, who may well help them wrap up their division.
* You’re welcome, LA. Anything else we can do?
* Oh, boy. Sugar Ray Leonard is coming back. I can hardly wait. I’m very excited. Really.
* You want to ban boxing? Let’s start by banning Sugar Ray Leonard fights and go from there.
* So Gretzky becomes the King of LA. But in England, he’ll always be the Princess of Wales. CUTLINE The Great Gretzky . . . and the Great Di-zky? It’s Hip to be . . . Daniels? Hey, hey, Ralphie . . . Wayne?

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