* LIONS 27, RAMS 20: The most impressive thing about this game is not the Lions’ unblemished home record, or John Robinson still having his job after all the muck the Rams have endured. No, the most impressive thing about Sunday afternoon is that Chuck Long will actually be suited up for a game in which both teams cut him.
* NY JETS 13, NEW ENGLAND 9: I mean, that’s gotta hurt the ego.
* CHICAGO 23, INDIANAPOLIS 14: Hey, if the Colts knew they would actually start winning once Eric Dickerson left, they would have dumped him a long time ago.
* WASHINGTON 31, PITTSBURGH 10: Right now, I’d take Washington giving three points to the Iraqi army.
* MINNESOTA 14, GREEN BAY 10: Like Twins fans, Vikings fans use Homer Hankies, too. But Vikings fans use them to blow their noses.
* KANSAS CITY 23, DENVER 20: Whatever happened to famous artist Vance Johnson? The way we media slobbered over his art hobby a few Super Bowls ago, you’d think he’d be Vance Picasso by now.
* LA RAIDERS 20, SEATTLE 14: Why? Why not?
* SAN FRANCISCO 23, PHOENIX 7: Steve Bono? Stan Gelbaugh? First guy to complete a pass wins.
* NEW ORLEANS 28, SAN DIEGO 0: Bob Gagliano isn’t getting a lot of playing time out in San Diego, but he’s sure getting a nice tan.
* DALLAS 23, NY GIANTS 21: Lawrence Taylor, or LT, is only half the player he used to be. We should start calling him “L” from now on.
* HOUSTON 34, CLEVELAND 14: Here’s what I always wanted to know about the Astrodome: Was it named for that dog in “The Jetsons,” or what?
* BUFFALO 31, MIAMI 28 (Monday night): With all the money he’s making, isn’t it time Jim Kelly got a decent haircut?
* PHILADELPHIA 31, CINCINNATI 14: Jim McMahon is in; Boomer is out; so are the Bengals.
* ATLANTA 24, TAMPA BAY 17: Falcons make Bucs forget the Lions.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 9-5.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 7-6-1.
* SEASON RECORD: 101-40.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 68-67-6.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Houston 27, Dallas 20 (Oilers won, 26-23, in OT).
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Lions 19, Tampa Bay 10 (Bucs won, 30-21).