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The Elon Musk-Twitter buyout story, one tweet at a time

by | Apr 17, 2022 | Comment, Detroit Free Press | 0 comments

What’s this I hear about Elon Musk buying Twitter? #CONFUSED

Yeah. He wants to buy it and take it private. #CAPITALISM

Can he do that? #NEVERSTUDIEDECONOMICS

He can if they let him. But Twitter doesn’t want him to take over. They’re fighting back. They’re afraid he’s going to change things by elim —

— Sorry. Went over 140 characters. Afraid he’s going to change things by eliminating oversight of content. #FREESPEECH

Who cares? Spartans rule! #GOGREEN

Typical Sparty idiotic post. #GOBLUE

Does your mother know you’re still in her basement? #GOGREEN

Joke’s on you. I’m in YOUR mother’s basement. #GOBLUE

Wait. I don’t get it. If Musk buys Twitter, how would he change it? #WORRIED

Nobody knows. He doesn’t like the way Twitter shuts down certain voices. #DEMOCRACY

Who has Twitter shut down besides Donald Trump? #HEDESERVEDIT

Are you kidding? Courtney Love, Jared Fogle, Al Jazeera, Roger Stone, congressmen, businessmen, comedians, Fox News Hosts. #LONGLIST

I wish they’d shut Lebron down. #GOCLIPPERS

Too bad for you. @KingJames #IREADEVERYTHING

So if Musk buys Twitter, then nobody will be censored? #GETYOURDIRTYWORDSREADY

Nobody knows. He’s a weird dude. #MISTRUST

I heard that. @elonmusk. #MY1STTARGET

I wish to formally apologize to Mr. Musk if I said or did anything that might have offended. I will take some time to work on myself. #IDRIVEATESLA

Can anyone come up with some suggestions for Musk if he succeeds at getting Twitter? #WECANBEBETTER

Yeah. Here’s one. Make everyone sign in with their real name and real photo. #TRANSPARENCY

Great idea. Then people won’t be so quick to attack. #HUMANITY

Will never happen. @mightymouth74

BTW, mightymouth74 is my real name.

BTW, LOL, IMO. #INAHURRY

I hear Musk is offering $43 billion in cash. #IMPRESSED

It’s obscene to have that much money. #SOCIALIST

Why so bitter? He earned it. #FREEMARKET

Actually, he didn’t. His stock is way overvalued. He hypes it up to stay rich. He’s got a history of questionable moves. #DONTTRUSTTHEMAN

I heard that, too. @elonmusk #MY2NDTARGET

Questionable moves? You mean like Jim Harbaugh talking to the Vikings? #SPARTY675

You mean like MSU giving $95 million to Mel Tucker? #BLUEFOREVER

Jealous much? Wolver-babies won’t win 3 games this year. #SPARTY675

Big Ten Champs! Suck it! #BLUEFOREVER

MSU 37, UM 33. Suck it! #SPARTY675

Stay on topic!  #MODERATE

Yeah. Musk to the rescue! Twitter hates conservatives. And Jack Dorsey looks like he sells lettuce wraps at art fairs. #FOXNEWS

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED.

Aren’t we just trading one form of control for another? #LIBERTY

Exactly. Great post. #AGREE

Great post back. #LIBERTY

No. Your post was better. #AGREE

Want to meet for coffee? #LIBERTY

Creepy. @thebachelor

So I’m still confused. Musk wants Twitter. Twitter doesn’t want him. He may get it anyway? Or they might block him? #MYHEADHURTS

Capitalism, baby. #UNEMPLOYED

Does anyone really care who owns Twitter, as long as we can keep tweeting? #NOBIGDEAL

Great point! #AGREE

Said it all! #AGREE2

I made $4000 working from home. Click here.

EVERYBODY! LISTEN UP! The reason I @elonmusk want to buy Twitter is simple. I want to shut it down. I can’t stand the noise. I can’t concentrate. I will spend $43 billion just —

— to get some peace and quiet back. With that time, I will invent a faster rocket to Mars, where we will all be living pretty soon. So please —

— get out of my way and let me rule the planet, as destiny has determined. Understood? #EARTHISMINE

Hmm. @kingjames

Mike dropped. @CNN

I object… @markzuckerberg

Contact Mitch Albom: malbom@freepress.com. Check out the latest updates with his charities, books and events at MitchAlbom.com. Follow him on Twitter @malbom

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