The NFL season is now one-third over, and it’s time to see whether you’ve been paying attention. Ready for a pop quiz?
1. True or false: All NFL teams now get a week off.
c. True, except for Minnesota, which is taking the entire season off.
2. The official locker room apparel is:
a. Towels for men, slacks for women.
b. Bathrobes for men, bathrobes for women.
c. Whatever Sam Wyche says; he pays $30,000 to be Mr. Fashion.
3. The problem with the Cleveland Browns . . .
a. Is the same problem with the LA Rams, Minnesota Vikings and Philadelphia Eagles.
b. Is nothing a few Monday night games against Denver won’t fix.
4. The current Lions quarterback situation is:
a. 1) Rodney Peete; 2) Bob Gagliano; 3) Andre Ware.
b. 1) Andre Ware; 2) Rodney Peete; 3) Bob Gagliano.
c. They are going to draft Ty Detmer, but only if he wins the Heisman.
And now, this week’s picks. . . .
* CHIEFS 30, LIONS 20: Christian Okoye passes Barry Sanders and says, “Ha-ha, I gain more than you now.” Barry says, “Yeah, but at this rate, I’ll still be playing when I’m 47.”
* NEW ORLEANS 31, CLEVELAND 27: Bernie Kosar spent most of last week saying,
“Look! I’m standing up! Look!”
* TAMPA BAY 28, GREEN BAY 21: The battle of the bays! I wait all year for this! Unfortunately, I’m the only one.
* HOUSTON 21, CINCINNATI 20: This game was supposed to be played in Cincinnati until the Reds got in the playoffs. Wyche has now barred all baseball players from his locker room.
* NEW YORK JETS 24, SAN DIEGO 10: Really, now. Who cares?
* SAN FRANCISCO 28, ATLANTA 26: Only the 49ers could lose Roger Craig and not blink.
* DALLAS 17, PHOENIX 10: Remember the old days, when Phoenix was St. Louis and the Cowboys had players you knew?
* NEW YORK GIANTS 24, WASHINGTON 21: The ‘Skins say the Giants are ripe for a fall. I say, prove it.
* DENVER 19, PITTSBURGH 7: The Steelers spent most of all week yelling, “We scored a touchdown! We scored a touchdown!”
* LA RAIDERS 21, SEATTLE 17: Bo Jackson began practice this week. So I suppose he’ll score three touchdowns by Sunday.
* LA RAMS 20, CHICAGO 17: The Rams lose this, they can spend the rest of the season at the beach.
* (MONDAY NIGHT) PHILADELPHIA 28, MINNESOTA 20: Anything Eagles can do, Vikings can do worse.
* Last week’s record: 7-5.
* Against the spread: 7-5.
* Season record: 44-22.
* Season vs. spread: 32-33-1.
* Best pick last week: San Francisco 23, Houston 20. 49ers won, 24-21.
* Worst pick last week: LA Raiders 23, Buffalo 14. Bills won, 38-24.