TWO SURE THINGS (INCLUDING LIONS)

* GREEN BAY 21, LIONS 9: The Pack is back; the Lions are backward.

* CLEVELAND 28, CINCINNATI 6: The battle for Ohio. Winner gets to take Marge Schott to her favorite ethnic restaurant.

* DALLAS 20, DENVER 10: To Tommy Maddox: I knew John Elway. I worked with John Elway. You, sir, are no John Elway.
* INDIANAPOLIS 20, NEW ENGLAND 5: The over-under is 38. As in: how many people will bother to watch this game?
* NEW ORLEANS 22, ATLANTA 14: Trust me on this one.
* MINNESOTA 23, PHILADELPHIA 20: If the Vikings pass rush gets inside, it won’t matter if it’s Randall, Jim or Y.A. Tittle back there.
* SAN DIEGO 28, PHOENIX 12: The Sun Screen Bowl.
* KANSAS CITY 23, LA RAIDERS 10: For all the black-and-silver hype, the Raiders really aren’t a very good team, you know?
* PITTSBURGH 24, SEATTLE 0: The Seahawks are so stunned after winning Monday night, they forget their shoes and have to forfeit the game.
* WASHINGTON 30, NY GIANTS 10: Kent Graham? A New York Giants starting quarterback? Kent Graham?
* BUFFALO 17, NY JETS 7: The battle for New York. Winner meets the winner of Woody-Mia.
* SAN FRANCISCO 24, MIAMI 14: So this no-Joe Montana thing really killed the 49ers this year, huh?
* LA RAMS 12, TAMPA BAY 10: The Bucs clinched last week — clinched their 10th straight losing season.
* (MONDAY NIGHT) HOUSTON 30, CHICAGO 13: When the little thermometer pops out of Mike Ditka, he’s done.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: New Orleans 20, Miami 13. (New Orleans won, 24-13.)
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Buffalo 30, Indianapolis 10. (Indianapolis won, 16-13.)
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 11-3.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 6-7-1.
* SEASON RECORD: 108-60.
* SEASON VS. SPREAD: 71-92-5.

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