OAKLAND — As I write this from the press box at the World Series, I don’t have much time to elaborate. You never know when Jose Canseco may decide to go after another fly ball.
And now, this week’s picks . . .
* TAMPA BAY 20, DALLAS 14: Jimmy Johnson starts screaming plays to Vinny Testaverde. Vinny finally says, “Coach, I don’t play for you anymore.”
* DENVER 23, INDIANAPOLIS 21: Eric Dickerson returned to the team this week. The other Colts said, “Are you the pizza guy? Just put it down over there.”
* MIAMI 17, NEW ENGLAND 10: I have a strong hunch on this one.
* HOUSTON 31, NEW ORLEANS 20: Steve Walsh spends a year in Dallas, barely plays. He joins New Orleans and is the starter in five minutes. Guess that employment agency really helped out, huh?
* BUFFALO 28, NY JETS 23: The battle for New York. Unfortunately, whoever wins it gets mugged on the way home and has to give it up.
* WASHINGTON 27, PHILADELPHIA 9: Fans in Philadelphia were booing the Eagles last week. And they won!
* LA RAMS 48, ATLANTA FALCONS 40: The Rams used to be a good team that couldn’t win the big one. Now, they’re a good team that can’t win any of them.
* KANSAS CITY 23, SEATTLE 20: Oy, Oy, Okoye.
* NEW YORK GIANTS 28, PHOENIX 10: How tough is Lawrence Taylor? He walks through Central Park, the muggers leave.
* SAN FRANCISCO 20, PITTSBURGH 17: People are saying the 49ers can’t lose. Of course, they said the same thing about the Oakland Athletics.
* LA RAIDERS 17, SAN DIEGO 10: Bo Jackson should play in this game — if his powerboat championship, tennis tournament and bobsled practice are over.
* CINCINNATI 28, CLEVELAND 10 (Monday night): Unless Bernie Kosar makes a deal to play behind Boomer’s offensive line.