* Detroit 24, Minnesota 20: And I’m gonna keep on picking them until they lose.
* Arizona 16, NY Giants 15: I’m not sure what kind of kid Buddy Ryan was, but I bet nobody wanted to sit next to him.
* Atlanta 27, LA Rams 10: Andre Rison “guaranteed” this victory. Why do players do that? Is there some kind of bonus involved?
* Pittsburgh 20, Cleveland 16: I try to live by one simple rule: Never pick a team that has Vinny Testaverde as quarterback.
* Dallas 24, Houston 3: You think, right about now, Rodney Peete is saying,
“You know, sitting on the bench this year is a whole lot more fun than sitting on it last year.”
* Green Bay 24, Miami 23: Last week, Dan Marino passed for nearly 500 yards, a barrel of touchdowns, and made the cover of Sports Illustrated. And he was rusty?
* LA Raiders 17, Seattle 15: Here’s how gruesome that Monday night injury was to Napoleon McCallum. His Raiders teammates haven’t stopped throwing up.
* New Orleans 13, Washington 3: And to think Joe Gibbs is racing cars somewhere.
* Buffalo 17, New England 14: I know they looked awful. I know we don’t like them. But picking last year’s AFC champion as an underdog to the Patriots is taking this anti-Bill thing a little too far.
* NY Jets 21, Denver 16: The Broncos are rapidly becoming John Elway and . .
. umm . . . ..umm . . .
* San Diego 34, Cincinnati 17: Stan Humphries had a quarterback rating of 131 last week. How is that possible? I mean, after 100 don’t you just explode?
* San Francisco 20, Kansas City 19: If the 49ers are smart, they’ll use Jerry Rice as a defensive back and have him wave his arms on passing plays. How could Joe Montana not throw to him at least once on instinct?
* Indianapolis 14, Tampa Bay 10: Marshall Faulk was so impressive, he’s now Sheriff Faulk.
* Chicago 10, Philadelphia 9 (Monday night): Was part of Erik Kramer’s deal that he gets to start a Monday night game two weeks into the season?
* Best pick last week: Chicago 14, Tampa Bay 6 (Bears won, 21-9).
* Worst pick last week: Buffalo 28, NY Jets 9 (Jets won, 23-3).
* Record last week: 8-6.
* Record vs. spread: 7-7.