Let me get this straight. Jerry Ball is complaining about his salary. Again. After he renegotiated a few months ago.
And let me get this straight. Bennie Blades, who does more fist-waving than intercepting, and Lomas Brown, who is a member of Detroit’s internationally famous offensive line, figure, hey, if Jerry can do it, we can, too. So they’re complaining about their salaries and talking about renegotiating.
And all this is happening to the Lions, who promised to score, score, score, and win, win, win, but have now lost eight of nine games, and only twice scored more than two touchdowns.
Do I have this all straight?
Well. Sure. That makes sense to me.
And now, this week’s picks . . .
* DETROIT 29, GREEN BAY 21: Next thing you know, the equipment manager will want a new contract.
* BUFFALO 20, INDIANAPOLIS 10: Do they still have equipment managers?
* CHICAGO 17, PITTSBURGH 12: If Timex ever made chewing gum, they could put it in Mike Ditka’s champing mouth. Takes a licking and keeps on sticking.
* PHOENIX 28, DALLAS 12: What? Dallas wants two wins now? Geez. Give em an inch . . .
* TAMPA BAY 17, MINNESOTA 14: Although Vinny Testaverde might have to change his initials from VT to INT.
* SAN FRANCISCO 28, ATLANTA 24: Did you see Neon Deion Sanders on the cover of Sports Illustrated? “This is the NFL,” he says. “They don’t pay you to be humble.” They don’t pay you to be a clown, either.
* MIAMI 31, NY JETS 17: The Dolphins already lost once to the Jets this year. They couldn’t go out all week.
* NEW ORLEANS 38, NEW ENGLAND 34: When does Old Orleans play Old England? I’d pay to see that.
* CLEVELAND 30, SEATTLE 14: Dave Krieg fumbled six times last week. And he’s the quarterback. You can just hear him: “Hut, hut, hut . . . oops.”
* PHILADELPHIA 27, WASHINGTON 16: Suddenly, the Hogs and Smurfs look more like rodents and twerps.
* KANSAS CITY 20, DENVER 16: Showdown at the Okoye corral.
* LA RAIDERS 28, SAN DIEGO 9: Do you realize the Raiders could play the Rams or the Chargers, at the away stadium, and never have to get on a plane? Does that seem fair?
* LA RAMS 24, NY GIANTS 23: Do you realize the Rams could play the Raiders or the Chargers, at the– No. Wait. I used that one already.
* HOUSTON 45, CINCINNATI 20 (Monday night): The Bengals need a lot more than an air vest for Boomer Esiason.
* RECORD LAST WEEK: 7-7.
* RECORD VS. SPREAD: 6-8.
* SEASON RECORD: 83-43.
* SEASON RECORD VS. SPREAD: 60-63-3.
* BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Minnesota 20, LA Rams 17. Vikings won, 23-21, in OT.
* WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Washington 28, Dallas 4. Cowboys won, 13-3.