* Detroit 24, NY Jets 20: They say Jimmy Hoffa is buried under the Meadowlands. Wayne Fontes doesn’t want to join him.
* Dallas 20, Cleveland 12: The Browns get a break when Nick Saban convinces Troy Aikman he ought to go back to college — at Michigan State.
* Chicago 20, Green Bay 17: Did you see where Dave Wannstedt’s daughter was thrown out of a high school puff football league for — and I’m not making this up — blitzing the quarterback too much? Daddy’s little girl.
* NY Giants 20, Cincinnati 7: Isn’t it time that, you know, we stop watching these games?
* New England 30, Indianapolis 20: Bill Parcells chewed apart a reporter this week, saying he was stupid, a jerk and needed new questions. This, by the way, was after the Patriots won. Imagine if they lose.
* LA Rams 9, Tampa Bay 8: The Rams are soon to be moving to St. Louis. The Buccaneers are soon to be moving to Trinidad and Tobago, where they hope to actually have a winning season.
* Buffalo 16, Minnesota 10: The old Vikings would have loved going to frigid Buffalo in December. The new Vikings keep asking when they’re gonna close the roof.
* Pittsburgh 28, Philadelphia 18: If Bill Cowher were coaching the Eagles, Randall Cunningham would not only have been benched after last week’s blunders, he would still be running laps.
* Denver 20, LA Raiders 17: You’d think with all the screenwriters in Los Angeles, the Raiders would come up with a more imaginative offense.
* San Francisco 30, San Diego 14: The charge has gone out of the Chargers. They’re more like door knockers right now.
* Arizona 19, Washington 9: The only thing deader than the Redskins in Washington is Clinton’s health care package.
* New Orleans 23, Atlanta 21: Now I see why they call him June Jones. His team is wilting in December.
* Houston 10, Seattle 3: I can’t pick any team that would give up on Dave Krieg. But I can’t pick any team that would give up on Warren Moon, either.
* Miami 28, Kansas City 20 (Monday night): No Joe, no go.
* Best pick last week: New England 20, NY Jets 18 (Patriots won, 24-13).
* Worst pick last week: LA Rams 17, New Orleans 12 (Saints won, 31-15).
* Record last week: 6-7.
* Last week vs. spread: 5-8.
* Season record: 107-75.
* Season vs. spread: 88-88-6.