* Lions 24, Tampa Bay 10: Granted, the Lions are not the team we’d like them to be, but the Buccaneers are barely a team.
* Chicago 34, Atlanta 20: Bonnie and Clyde had less holes in them than the Falcons’ defense.
* Dallas 23, Green Bay 14: I give Brett Favre one more week to change his last name so we can pronounce it. Otherwise, I’m calling him “Bretty.”
* Kansas City 20, LA Raiders 14: After all the nasty things ex-Raider Marcus Allen said about Al Davis, I would wear a different number Sunday if I were him.
* Denver 24, Indianapolis 10: The Colts have a winning record? What’s next? Peace in the Middle East?
* New Orleans 21, LA Rams 6: This is the Saints linebackers’ philosophy about opposing quarterbacks: Chew before swallowing.
* Philadelphia 20, NY Jets 17: Wasn’t Boomer Esiason on the cover of Sports Illustrated? Isn’t there a jinx?
* San Diego 20, Seattle 19: If that’s Junior Seau, I’d hate to meet Senior.
* San Francisco 21, Minnesota 17: With all their injuries, they’re more like the 39ers.
* Buffalo 20, NY Giants 10: The Battle for New York. Winner gets to live in Connecticut.
* Miami 24, Washington 17 (Monday night): Dan Marino is such an injury-proof quarterback, the Dolphins’ official backup passer is Garo Yepremian.
* Best pick last week: Seattle 20, Cincinnati 7 (Seahawks won, 19-10).
* Worst pick last week: Cleveland 28, Indianapolis 14 (Colts won, 23-10).
* Record last week: 7-3.
* Record vs. spread: 5-5.
* Season record: 32-16.
* Season vs. spread: 22-26.