Unhip Fate Awaits The ‘Seinfeld’ Gang

Unhip Fate Awaits The ‘Seinfeld’ Gang

Looking out the window, the first thing Jerry Seinfeld noticed was a little man running down the tarmac.

“De plane! De plane!” the little man yelled.

“Hey,” Kramer said, “isn’t that Tattoo from ‘Fantasy Island?’ “

“Yeah, the midget!” said George.

He looked at Jerry and smiled.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” they said in unison.

They stopped and listened. Strange. No laughter. Not even a chuckle.

“What gives?” said Elaine. “That line always gets a laugh.”

Unhip Fate Awaits The ‘Seinfeld’ Gang

Mr. Flash And Mr. Shhhh Star In Magical Road Show

ST. LOUIS — So Sergei Fedorov gets the puck on a breakaway, and he makes one of those moves, and yada, yada, yada, Wings win.

Oh. Sorry. Got my shows crossed.

On a night when a third of the nation was watching “Seinfeld” end, those of us who prefer pucks to yucks were watching a remarkable pattern continue. It was the Red Wings showing familiar focus when threatened. It was the Red Wings showing familiar disregard for other people’s ice, winning their fourth straight road game in these playoffs.

Unhip Fate Awaits The ‘Seinfeld’ Gang

Shanahan Again Puts Down Roots

If home is where the heart is, then Brendan Shanahan once left his heart in St. Louis. He played there for four happy seasons, made friends, had good times, hosted a radio show, even purchased his first house. It’s a big moment when you first sign a mortgage, it makes you feel rooted, grown-up. So the dismal day he was traded to Hartford, the Siberia of the NHL, Shanahan made a vow. He would not give up his house. They could take away his uniform, pluck him like a weed.

But they couldn’t take his roots.

Unhip Fate Awaits The ‘Seinfeld’ Gang

Why Daddy Isn’T A Very Good Father

What do Isiah Thomas, Barry Sanders and Juwan Howard have in common? All have been celebrated as “good guys.” All have been hailed as humble star athletes who have their priorities straight.

And all have fathered children out of wedlock.

I bring them up only to prove that the current Sports Illustrated cover story,
“Where’s Daddy?” about paternity and athletes, is not some device to sell magazines, and not some blown-up tale about a few sex-crazed deviants. It’s as real a problem as there is in sports, and it says a lot about who we are and what we choose to admire.

Unhip Fate Awaits The ‘Seinfeld’ Gang

Red Wings Take Charge: Fedorov Investment Providing Big Payoff

One by one, in moments like these, he pulls us back into his rooting section. Here was Sergei Fedorov Thursday night, second period, the game dangerously close, chasing a loose puck, accelerating until he gathered it in, then juking on the Phoenix defender, Gerald Diduck, who fell to the ice just trying to keep up. Keep up? It was like trying to bottle a hurricane. Sergei curled past the fallen player as if racing a lawn mower around a tree stump, then glided until the perfect angle on the goalie came into his crosshairs.

Unhip Fate Awaits The ‘Seinfeld’ Gang

Hitsville’S Revenge: Better Shop Around

Itried to be nice.

I tried to be mellow, calm and understanding. I tried to say, “It’s only hockey, and hockey is sports, and sports is brotherhood, and brotherhood means peace and love for everyone, right?”

I tried.

But now I must come clean. I must tell you the reason the Phoenix Coyotes, who play the Red Wings tonight in their deadlocked playoff series, will have to be, and I don’t want to overstate things here, destroyed.

Unhip Fate Awaits The ‘Seinfeld’ Gang

GENTRY PICK NATURAL CONSIDERING HISTORY

When you check into a bed and breakfast, it’s a good idea to read the guest book. See what others before you had to say.Same goes for hiring NBA coaches. A look back gives a glimpse ahead. So here, on this first morning of the Alvin Gentry Era in Pistonland, a...