HOUSTON CHAFES UNDER MALICE AT THE PALACE
There were two stories going Wednesday night at the Palace, small and big, the small story being that Allan Houston returned to Detroit, and we now know where to find all those collars that Doug Collins doesn’t wear: right around Allan’s neck.Houston...
GRAMBLING’S GRUMBLING AN INSULT TO ROBINSON
When he first took the job, he had no indoor plumbing. He got his water from a well and it had tiny bugs in it “wiggle- tails” they called them so you had to boil that water before you could drink it. His kids got sick. His wife got frustrated. Finally,...
Lucky For Us, The End Of This Torture Is Near
The ball came down from the lights the way a pitchfork might come down from the lights, the way a live grenade might come down from the lights, you could watch its frightening descent and know exactly the terrible thing that was about to happen and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, you could do about it.
There. I’ve just summed up a day in the life of the Lions’ secondary.
An Unsettling Visit With Johnnie Cochran
He entered the room in a three-piece suit, sat down and began scanning an information sheet about me. I was interviewing him, but in many ways, like a good lawyer, Johnnie Cochran was preparing for me.
“I know you’re on a tight schedule,” I said, “so I’ll get right down to it.”
“OK, great,” he replied, his gaze never coming off the page. I watched his eyes dart back and forth beneath his glasses. I kept picturing a judge hanging over us, saying, “Are you ready to begin, Mr. Cochran?”
Coach Needs Super Resume
First of all, Wayne Fontes is still the coach of the Lions. I don’t fire him. You don’t fire him. All the pundits on radio and TV don’t fire him. That task is for someone named Ford, and if you go by the history of that name and this team, well, there’s no telling what might happen.
But just as we do our Christmas shopping early for a holiday that is still weeks off, perhaps the Fords already are thinking about a new man for the job, even though the current coach has three games left to endure, er, play.
Holtz Hears The Nfl’S Call, But How Come?
Hello, Mr. X? This is Lou Holtz.
Lou! Thanks for calling me back. You know this conversation must remain secret.
Of course.
We don’t want Coach Y getting suspicious.
Right.
So, Lou. You want back in the NFL.
I certainly do, Mr. X. With all my heart.
Can I ask why you left Notre Dame?
Gosh, sir, that’s tough. The kids were truly wonderful, and I pray that I led them with a strong hand and a wise heart, but in my soul there burns a passion for new horizons.
They told you to take a hike.
Pretty much, yes, sir.
Lions Flushed Again, And Not With Success
CHICAGO — Barry Sanders, maybe the best running back in the history of the game, was stuck in the corner with camera lights blinding his eyes. He looked down. He mumbled his answers. For every time he mentioned “pride,” he mentioned “disappointment.” For every time he said “honor,” he said
“frustration.” He sniffed between questions and pulled on his neck, as if coaxing the words up through his throat. He never smiled.
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE — AND BEATLES MUSIC
The most successful musical group of this year is . . . the Beatles. That’s right. Thanks largely to their “Anthology” series, the Beatles have sold more records than any artist in 1996. This might surprise some people — since the Beatles broke...
T.G.I.Football
* HUT ONE: I’m gonna miss the little fella. There. I said it and I’m not ashamed.
I’m talking about Lou Holtz, who announced his retirement this week — actually, he announced the sentence “I think this is the right thing to do” this week, approximately 2,538 times during his news conference, which, by the way, is still going on down in South Bend, Ind., and is being carried live by ESPN6 — and yes, I have to admit, I got a little misty.
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