NEW YORK — You know what I always say. People. People who need people. They’re the luckiest people in the world.
So I had to come to the Big Apple to check out this rumor about two lucky people who have been — and you’re not going to believe this — romantically linked at the U.S. Open.
Andre Agassi and . . .
Barbra Streisand.
Go ahead, take a Maalox. I’ll wait.
CHICAGO — I can think of better ways to start a season.
I can think of better pictures than this: thousands of Chicago Bears fans going from depressed to delirious in the final five seconds, lighting up victory cigars and mocking the Lions. I can think of less disturbing heroes than this: Jim Harbaugh, whom I still remember from his pimple days at Michigan, now raising his fists in triumph as a Bear, after his last pass of this humid afternoon found the curled arms of Tom Waddle for a touchdown.
NEWS ITEM: The editors of DC Comics, publishers of Superman, announced plans to kill off the 54-year-old comic book hero. The Man of Steel is scheduled to die in issue No. 75 of Superman classics while “saving as many people on earth as he can,” sources say.
“Well, I was just shocked,” Batman said, when reached Saturday in Gotham City. “I mean, I knew Supes wasn’t doing great, but dead? I thought he couldn’t die. That’s what he used to say whenever I told him how much more money my movies made than his. ‘Hey, pal, at least I’ll never die.’ That always shut me up.
He gets the glove back now. Thirty-eight years after he put it in the closet and decided that playing baseball was not going to pay the rent and maybe he should try this pizza thing — 38 years later — Mike Ilitch is finally back in the game. Better. He’s in the big leagues. Thank you, fate. We owe you one. It was a good day for baseball around here Tuesday, the day the ownership committee recommended Ilitch to be the new boss of the Tigers. Now maybe we can think about this franchise without throwing up.
BARCELONA, Spain — They were fun, they were exciting, they were hot as hell. The 1992 Olympics have officially closed, and we can now look forward to the traditional lighting of the torch in Atlanta, 1996, which will probably be done by a sheriff in a pickup truck.
But before we say adios Barcelona, a look back on the best and worst of the Games we witnessed:
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