by Mitch Albom | Aug 3, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — And you thought your little 9-year-old, sitting in the house playing video games all day, was blowing his chance at the Olympics. Are you kidding? We have a job for him right now.
Boxing judge.
In fact, if we had a few more 9-year-olds over here, we would probably have one fewer Olympic controversy this morning. That’s because boxing, a sport that seems determined to sink under its own stupidity, has suddenly made it more important to test the reflexes of its judges than its boxers.
See if you can follow this:
by Mitch Albom | Aug 3, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — Now the flashbulbs were snapping like crazy. He had to laugh at that. Last summer, someone shot a flash as he ran toward the vault, right in his eyes, and, blinded, he missed the vault completely and landed on his head. He was knocked...
by Mitch Albom | Aug 2, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — I had promised myself I would go the whole weekend without speaking, writing, or even thinking the words “Dream Team.”
But this is too good to resist.
It now seems that our rich and talented NBA heroes — whom we sent here to stomp on those commie heathens and bring home the old basketball glory — may not step up for their Olympic gold medal after all.
In fact, Michael Jordan, the biggest star on the team, said, “They can mail me the medal. I’m not getting up on that victory stand.”
by Mitch Albom | Aug 1, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — They come to stare at Ben Johnson now, as if he were a baby in a stroller, only they look at how much smaller he has grown, instead of how much bigger.
“His torso’s half the size!” someone whispers.
“Look at the arms. Much less definition.”
“Thighs are shrunken, too.”
by Mitch Albom | Jul 31, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — So where does Kim Zmeskal go for a refund? Where does she go to get back the childhood she sacrificed for gymnastics, or the school she left to spend eight hours a day in the gym? Where does she go to get fresh bones, never broken or sprained,...
by Mitch Albom | Jul 30, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — Now, wait a minute. I think we’ve taken this “all sports are equal” thing a little too far here. Badminton? Badminton is an Olympic event? You win a medal for slapping a birdie over a net? What’s next? Olympic hot dog grilling?
“Badminton’s cool,” someone says. “Go see it.”
Listen, pal. I know badminton. I know the roots of badminton. The roots of badminton are in your basement, in a box that sits untouched until the Fourth of July barbecue, when you take it out and pray the moths haven’t completely eaten the rackets.
Here is what happens next:
by Mitch Albom | Jul 29, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — Most Olympians earn their medals when they cross a finish line. Gustavo Borges got his over a loudspeaker.”I was near tears after the race and I had gone to the warm-up pool,” said Borges, a Brazilian who swims for the University...
by Mitch Albom | Jul 29, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — “Are you crying?” she was asked.”No,” said Janet Evans, her eyes moist. “No, I’m fine.” She sniffed. She laughed sharply. Too sharply. The room was quiet, a bunch of older reporters trying to look away...
by Mitch Albom | Jul 28, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA, Spain — The class was Humiliation 101. The teachers were Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. The student was a baby-faced Croatian named Toni Kukoc.
By the time they were done with him, Kukoc was small enough to fit through a keyhole — and when he started the game, he was 6-feet-10. Poor Toni. I guess it’s not enough that his country has been reduced to rubble. Michael and Scottie wanted to get in a few shots, too.
by Mitch Albom | Jul 27, 1992 | Detroit Free Press
BARCELONA — In the old, bloody days, when his was the only sport worth talking about in this country, the young man’s courage would make him a hero. Kings would applaud. Senoritas would throw roses into the ring.
