It’S No Joke — Detroit Has A Team On Top Of Pile
You can come out now. Take the paper bag off your head. Put the phone back on the hook. All is well. Detroit has a first-place team.
Say what?
“I think we can go all the way,” says the star player.
All the way? Did you hear that? Forget those Pistons programs you shredded in the blender. And the Red Wings hockey stick you smashed across your forehead when they lost, what was it, 86-0? Relax. Rejoice. All is well.
Detroit has a first-place team.
Say what?
“It took a lot of hard work, but we are rolling,” says the coach. “It’s in our hands now.”
A Moment Of Madness, A Week Of Sorrow
The coach speaks in a whisper, and the young wrestlers gather around him in a semicircle on the purple mats. They listen. They say nothing. A few of them are big and muscular. Others are smaller, their skin soft. They are teen-aged, but they are still children, really. And children should never have to witness a murder, especially not to one of their own. But it happened inside Romulus High School, and now everybody here must learn to live with the nightmares, and it is not easy.
Madness Of Murder At Romulus High
The wrestlers gather on the purple and white mats and make a semicircle around their coach, who is speaking in a whisper. A few of the boys are big and muscular. Others are younger, shorter, and their voices are still high. They are teen-aged, but they are just children, really. And children should never have to witness a murder, not one of their own. But it happened inside Romulus High School, and now they must learn to live with the nightmares. And it is not easy.
If You’Ve Got The Money, Bears Have Got The Rhyme
NEW ORLEANS — “OK. OK. Quiet in the studio. Bears, are you ready? This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. The follow-up to the ‘Super Bowl Shuffle.’ Do it right and it could be a gold record — not to mention huge video sales. Big bucks, fellas. It’ll be great. OK. Mr. Perry, try not to drool quite so much this time. And Mr. Fuller, don’t dance. Just, uh, sort of stand there, OK? Remember, guys, let’s sing on the beat, not in between it. All right. Is everybody ready?”
“YEAH! . . . Of course! . . . DO IT! . . . I’m hungry . . . WOOO! . . . Where’s the broads?”
No Clowning! The Pats Were A Very Bad Joke
NEW ORLEANS — Send in the clowns. And the dancing bears. Super Bowl XX was a joke, a bad joke if your seat was in New England — because the Patriots were merely the cookies to keep the kids quiet, and the Bears were the show. The whole show.
It was merciful when they brought down the curtain on this, the Super Bowl which may have set new records for false expectations. An even match, some had called it? Even?
Fear And Loathing In A $23 Million Party Store
NEW ORLEANS — Listen, boss. The kid was a professional hustler, I don’t care how high his voice was. He had a shoe- shine brush and a jar of polish and he was about nine years old, but he didn’t fool me; he was on the make just like everybody else in this city during Super Bowl Week, the biggest, liquor-crazed, money-soaked Pep Rally of the American calendar year. And the little newt had his eye on my shoes, which made me nervous.
“I betcha I can tell you where you got those shoes,” he said.
“How much?” I said.
“Five bucks,” he said.
WHO WILL WIN? ONE SUPER ARGUMENTSOBER UP! BEARS JUST TOO MEAN
NEW ORLEANS — Ah, Curt. My friend. My old friend. My very, very old friend. Just how old are you, anyhow? Well, never mind. Obviously a few of those funny pink drinks you’ve become so fond of down here are still in your system. That must be why...
FEAR AND LOATHING IN AMERICA’S $23 MILLION PARTY STORE
NEW ORLEANS — Listen, boss. The kid was a professional hustler, I don’t care how high his voice was. He had a shoe- shine brush and a jar of polish and he was about nine years old, but he didn’t fool me; he was on the make just like everybody else in...
Patriots Tease Their Foes By Stripping The Football
NEW ORLEANS — They cannot help it. It is in their blood now. They see a football and they have to strip it.
Kickoffs. It happens on kickoffs. And punts. And running plays and passing plays — it can happen then, too. Anytime the other team has the ball. It is in their blood now. They cannot help it.
The New England Patriots play strip football.
It is largely the reason they are in the Super Bowl. It is probably their best tool for winning it. Strip the ball from the opponent’s grasp, pounce on it, maybe pick it up and run it in for a touchdown.
Stay Connected
The only newsletter dedicated to updates, exclusive content, and giveaways of Mitch's books!