by Mitch Albom | Sep 2, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
WASHINGTON — Hey, bus driver. Pull over. Let me off. I am not taking this ride again with the Lions. Not if Sunday night was the destination. You can drop me right here, thank you. I’ll walk the rest of football season. It has to be better than watching interceptions, missed tackles, slips, drops, fumbles, stumbles, blown coverages, bad special teams, sacks, balls flying over receivers’ heads, no pass rush, stupid penalties and countless touchdown dances by the other team.
Hmm. Did I leave anything out?
by Mitch Albom | Sep 1, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
The thing that separates us humans from, say, a big, fat, stupid cow, is that even a cow has enough sense not to call a moving company. If a cow wants to move — or mooooove, as they like to say — it nudges its cow friends and goes, “If you want me,...
by Mitch Albom | Aug 31, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
WASHINGTON 20, DETROIT 17: So what if Rodney Peete hasn’t played more than five minutes all summer? So what if Barry Sanders has barely broken a sweat? So what if the Lions now have a tight end on their team, but nobody knows who he is or what exactly he does? Hey. I still think the Lions can cover the spread. If you can’t be optimistic in the first week of the season, you’re hopeless.
MINNESOTA 17, CHICAGO 14: Refrigerator Perry gets hungry. Eats teammate Neal Anderson. Bears lose.
by Mitch Albom | Aug 30, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
I hate making football predictions. That’s why I do them every week. But the truth is, as yet another NFL season is about to begin, we the experts, after a summer full of furious study, know absolutely nothing.Therefore, I will not predict who will win or lose...
by Mitch Albom | Aug 29, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
Barry Sanders has something on his mind. He walks over to Jim Arnold, the punter, and sits on a stool nearby. Arnold is talking to a reporter, but his words grow jumpy as he glances at Sanders just sitting there — What does he want? Why doesn’t he interrupt? — and finally, Arnold stops talking to the reporter altogether. It is damn near impossible to ignore Barry Sanders, even if he is sitting still.
“What’s up?” Arnold asks.
“I need a favor from you, man,” Sanders says.
“Name it.”
Sanders grins, sort of embarrassed. “Nah, really, man,” he says.
by Mitch Albom | Aug 25, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
I never got to say good-bye to Scott Hastings. Neither did anyone else around here. He was traded a few weeks ago, to Denver of all places. Jack McCloskey, who moves the pieces on the Pistons’ board, made the deal, then telephoned Hastings in Atlanta, where he lives in the off-season. “Hello, Scott?” Jack said, and Hastings acted surprised, like he was hearing from an old college buddy. “Hey! Jack! What’s up?” And Jack chuckled and said, “Come on. You know what’s up.”
by Mitch Albom | Aug 23, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
THE LIVE ALBOM:
* I think it’s time to give the Tigers a special award: Most Embarrassing Team To Sports Writers.
by Mitch Albom | Aug 19, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
The problem with the head is that it’s just above the shoulders. Damn inconvenient. I mean, let’s say I were to aim a baseball at your shoulders and try to get really close, which is perfectly legal, mind you, but let’s say the ball missed by just a...
by Mitch Albom | Aug 18, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
NEWS ITEM: Friday, Aug. 16, was the anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death in 1977. Thousands mourned at Graceland, his home. Some, however, believe Presley is alive. . . . “
I met Elvis at the supermarket. He was coming down the frozen foods aisle and I was coming up. His black hair was long now and pushed under a baseball cap. He wore oversized sunglasses. But I knew it was him. I have every album, I’ve seen every movie — even “Clambake.” I knew it was him.
by Mitch Albom | Aug 16, 1991 | Detroit Free Press
Hear ye! Hear ye! The nation’s first Sports Court is now in session. Step forward, and ye shall be heard. Ye shall be judged. Ye shall be sentenced.
And I don’t wanna hear any complaints.
CASE 1: The people vs. U.S. basketball team.
CASE SUMMARY: Tired of no air-conditioning, of spicy food, and of all that
Spanish, the U.S. men’s basketball team at the Pan Am Games left the athletes’ village in Havana and flew to Miami between games, staying at the exclusive Mayfair House hotel, where rooms cost up to $600 a night and feature
