FINALLY, THE BLUE JAYS ARE THE TOAST OF CANADA
TORONTO — Where was it? It had to be there. Somewhere. Maybe there, behind the blackboard. Yep. Found it.Champagne. Canadian champagne.Pop! Spritz!”WE’RE CHAMPIONS!” hollered Willie Upshaw.Pop! Spritz!”WE’RE CHAMPIONS!”...
Evans Is Finally Hearing Those Three Little Words
And now, three words about Darrell Evans.
Home Run King.
OK. So he doesn’t have the title clinched yet — there are still four games left — but he’ll get it, as long as God makes little green apples and Piggy loves Kermit and somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, good things come to those who wait.
Because Evans has been waiting 38 years.
And nobody deserves it more.
This is a professional, a leader, a guy who’d keep an even keel in an earthquake, who always faces the cameras, good or bad, who epitomizes the words gentleman, dignity, grace.
He Wants To Make Peace With Game — And Himself
“Here, look at this.”
The Pistons’ PR man handed me a book that listed all the players in the NBA. He pointed to a special chapter entitled “All-Time Greats.”
And there was a full page on Spencer Haywood, complete with picture.
I looked down at the book, then up at the hardwood court in front of us. Out amidst the squeaking sneakers, and the yells — “Pick left! Pick left!”
— and the unforgiving thump of the basketball, there he was, in the flesh, sweating and panting with the Pistons’ second string, trying to earn a final spot on the 12-man roster.
LIONS TRY THEIR FANS’ SOULS IN ANOTHER SPIRITLESS WIN
Losing. Five seconds left in the half. Eric Hipple leaned over the center, cupped his hands.The Lions were a full four yards from the end zone, trailing by three points, and, damn, everyone knew they should be going for a field goal, not a touchdown.But Hipple knew...
BUCS TRIED LIONS’ SOULS; NEXT FOES WILL TRY MORE
There’s this old Three Stooges routine. Curly is in a coffee shop, ordering breakfast.”Gimme a cold egg and stale toast,” he says.”Cold egg and stale toast?” says the waiter.”Yeah,” says Curly, “I got a tapeworm, and...
ENOUGH TO MAKE ME HIDE MY FACE
I fold the column. I lean down. I slip it under the crack. Someone takes it, and I go back to what I was doing before.Weeping.I am locked in a closet. Naturally. Had you picked the teams I did last week, you’d be in here, too.OK. That’s football, you say....
BO’S NEW OFFENSE? WHY, IT’S LIKE DANCING ON AIR
ANN ARBOR — They had never met before, these two big-name football teams, so they invited 105,000 people to their coming- out party, lined up across a green-and-white dance floor, kicked off, and thus commenced in formal introductions.Michigan, meet...
They Have College Spirit- All That Money Can Buyt
By now, most people have formed some sort of opinion on Jim Wacker.
Wacker is the coach at Texas Christian University who last week dismissed six of his football players — including a Heisman Trophy candidate running back — when he discovered they were accepting money from wealthy alumni.
Accepting such money violates NCAA rules.
Some call Wacker a hero. Some call him an idiot.
Some say he showed courage and morality. Some say he simply beat the NCAA to the punch.
And many are missing the point entirely.
The Funeral Of The Logos — It’S A Sign Of The Times
The Tiger slowly made his way through the jungle. He’d been traveling for days. It was a sad journey, but he had no choice.
Over the mountain. Down the river. Finally, he clawed through some vines and into a clearing.
The trees were tall, of white ash, and had “Louisville Slugger” written across their trunks. Old baseballs hung from the branches. The rocks were shaped like bases.
And there, around a small campfire, sat a group of cartoon- like characters.
A Pirate. An Oriole. A Brave. Two Red Socks.
They were moaning softly.
“No pitching . . . “
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