ATTN: OFFICE. STOP. AM HOT ON BASEBALL’S TRAIL. STOP. SO HOT, I FORGOT ABOUT FOOTBALL. STOP. SORRY. STOP. SENDING PICKS FROM WAITRESS I MET INSTEAD. STOP. DON’T WORRY. STOP. SHE IS EXPERT. STOP. DON’T MIND KETCHUP STAINS. STOP. SHE DID THEM IN KITCHEN. STOP. HA-HA. STOP. HAD YOU FOOLED, DIDN’T I? STOP. THAT’S NOT KETCHUP. STOP. IT’S BLOOD, AS USUAL. STOP.
AND NOW, THE PICKS . . .
THE LIVE ALBOM
* So Howard Cosell has been bumped from the World Series. Breaks my heart.
* Actually, I have Howard’s new book, the one that’s getting him into all this trouble. I’ll get around to reading it as soon as I finish two other sports classics: “Mr. Ed Was a Stud,” by Secretariat, and “Shhhh!: The George Hendrick Story.”
* THREE REASONS WHY I PICKED KANSAS CITY TO WIN THE AL PENNANT:
1. George Brett
2. Experience
3. Left-handed pitching
* THREE REASONS WHY I PICKED ST. LOUIS TO WIN THE NL PENNANT:
1. Speed
2. Whitey Herzog
TORONTO — The catch. The catch. Everyone wanted to talk about the catch.
“I know I caught it,” pleaded Lloyd Moseby, his hair wet, his uniform stained with dirt. “The umpires are good. But a ball player knows when he catches a ball. And I caught that ball.”
TORONTO — Well, I’ll tell you. I heard a lot before this series started.
“It’s in Canada, for cripes sake. It’ll snow on you. How can you have the national pastime being decided north of the border?”
We interrupt you, America, to bring this rumbling from the Midwest:
Pistons. Wings. Pistons. Wings.
Ba-boom.
The words create a growing frenzy, like a sparrow’s heartbeat, like a Baptist
church service, like the music from “Jaws.” They are on the lips of every auto worker in Dearborn, every lawyer in Birmingham, every elevator-rider in every office building in downtown Detroit.
Pistons. Wings. Pistons. Wings.
Ba-boom.
Petr is getting a new car. He does not know what kind. But he hopes it will be very fast.
We are in a Chevrolet dealership. Petr is sitting in a chair, looking at the ceiling. Petr’s translator, Ivan, is doing the talking, because Petr speaks no english.
“K-l-i-m-a,” says Ivan, spelling Petr’s last name. “He is new hockey player for Red Wings . . . yes . . . he make lots of money, don’t worry.”
Ivan laughs. Petr laughs, too, even though he has no idea what’s going on.
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