Spinks Was The Winner, But Where Was The Fight?

Spinks Was The Winner, But Where Was The Fight?

Try to remember

A time in September When heavyweights Were oh, so mellow . . .

LAS VEGAS — You should have seen it. Larry Holmes, cracking jokes, looking like he was ready to go out for dinner, 25 minutes after he’d lost the heavyweight championship of the world.

And Michael Spinks, the man who’d taken his title, giggling, showing his muscles, looking like he’d just taken his morning shower and was fresh for a day at the office.

Fight?

What fight?

And that about says it.

It’S Time To Address The Pressing Issue

It’S Time To Address The Pressing Issue

You laughed. You scoffed. You rolled up the newspaper and stuffed it in the cat’s litter box.

And then the Lions beat Dallas — just as I predicted one week ago — and you felt pretty bad, didn’t you? Really ashamed. You wanted to send me flowers, but you didn’t know the address. It’s OK. All is forgiven. Really. Don’t worry about it. It’s all right. No problem.

321 W. Lafayette, Detroit, Mich.

OK. Here we go again . . .

It’S Time To Address The Pressing Issue

There’S Little Real Heart In Emptiness Of Numbers

LAS VEGAS — By the time you read this, history will have been made here in the Nevada desert.

Some sort of history, anyhow. Either Larry Holmes will have equaled the record 49 straight victories set by Rocky Marciano, or his younger opponent, Michael Spinks, will have destroyed the belief that a light-heavyweight cannot steal a crown off the head of a heavyweight champion.

Spinks Was The Winner, But Where Was The Fight?

History Repeats; Holmes Will Take Spinks’ Head Off

LAS VEGAS — Well, the people “in the know” out here are saying Michael Spinks will get his head taken off tonight. They liken the fight to an ant and a boulder. The ant moves around, real quick-like, and, oh, my, see how fast it scurries, how quickly it darts, left, then right, and yes, oh yes, it sure is quick, and then plop! the boulder squashes it dead.

The boulder is Larry Holmes. But you probably figured that out.

It’S Time To Address The Pressing Issue

Underdogs Take A Bite Out Of Goliath

Zip a dee doo dah, zip a dee ay.

My, my, my, what a wonderful day.

Burn those gee-tars. Torch those pickup trucks. Melt those Willie Nelson albums into a ball of hot wax, and mold it into a Lion.

A roaring Lion.

Detroit 26, Dallas 21.

Wow.

Hot damn.

Sounds so good, I’m gonna say it again.

Detroit 26, Dallas 21.

Like gunning down Billy The Kid. Like knocking out Muhammad Ali. One punch. Like taking on the IRS and finding out they made the mistake.

It’S Time To Address The Pressing Issue

IMAGINE! U-M DID, AND WON

ANN ARBOR — Unranked, my foot.Call those pollsters. Wake them up this morning. Let the phone ring 100 times if you have to.And when they finally grunt a “hello?” let ’em have it full blast, in your loudest shish-boom-bah voice:Michigan 20,...
It’S Time To Address The Pressing Issue

TO MAKE MY PICKS, I USE WEIRD SCIENCE

When it comes to predicting pro football, there is The Scientific Way, The Computer Way, The Points Versus The Minimum Spread Coefficient Of X Way. And then there is My Way, which consists of taping the teams’ names to the kitchen wall and throwing a butter...