Perfect! Big, Fat Lions Have Zero In Loss Column

Perfect! Big, Fat Lions Have Zero In Loss Column

Ahhh.

Feels good.

Toss me some suds, will ya?

Yep. Here we are, neck-high in this tub full of champagne, me and my Southern literary agent, Mr. Bobby Will Getcha. Been here since Sunday. Just jumped in with all our clothes on.

You do that kind of stuff when your team is undefeated. Like ours is.

The Detroit Lions, I’m talking about.

Un-deeee-feated. A perfect season.

1-0.

Hear that Miami? San Fran? Washington? A big fat zero in the loss column.

Bet you guys wish you were us, huh?

Tough.

Perfect! Big, Fat Lions Have Zero In Loss Column

MCENROE’S BLOOD MELTS MATS’ ICE

NEW YORK — Say what you will about John McEnroe, the Prince of Pout, the Court Crybaby, the No. 1 male tennis player in the world. If nothing else, he is a fighter. And on center court at the U.S. Open, when your survival is on the line and it’s about a million degrees and you’re losing bad and 20,000 New Yorkers are screaming at you and a Swedish robot across the net is picking you apart, well, being a fighter is what it’s about.

Perfect! Big, Fat Lions Have Zero In Loss Column

Surprise! Ms Incredible Defeats Ms. Invincible

NEW YORK — She was flat on her back in the middle of center court, her eyes squeezed shut in glory, as if she had to lie down to absorb what she’d just accomplished.

7-6, 1-6, 7-6.

Mandlikova beats Navratilova.

Incredible.

What a match! What a spectacular match! A showdown that was never supposed to be. Everyone knows that just as dessert comes at the end of the meal, Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert Lloyd come at the end of a women’s tennis tournament.

Chris vs. Martina, punch after punch, rematch after rematch, Ali and Frazier in tennis dress.

Perfect! Big, Fat Lions Have Zero In Loss Column

Wilander Joins Mcrest When He Loses The Mcbest

NEW YORK — Say what you will about John McEnroe, the Prince of Pout, the Court Crybaby, the No. 1 male tennis player in the world. If nothing else, he is a fighter. And on center court at the U.S. Open, when your survival is on the line and it’s about a million degrees and you’re losing bad and 20,000 New Yorkers are screaming at you and a Swedish robot across the net is picking you apart, well, being a fighter is what it’s about.

Perfect! Big, Fat Lions Have Zero In Loss Column

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, GREEK

There is a time for logic, a time for fact, a time for cold, hard analysis. I think that time is 2:30 on Tuesday afternoon.But Sunday morning, well, that’s another story. Everyone is a dreamer on Sunday morning, at least until the kids wake you up, which is why...
Perfect! Big, Fat Lions Have Zero In Loss Column

Why Can’T The Swedes Ever Act Like Meatballs?

NEW YORK — I’m sorry, but it’s a question whose time has come.

Why are Swedish tennis players so dull?

This has become a major issue here at the U.S. Open, after three Swedes made the men’s quarterfinals and they had to pass out No-Doz. Personally, the idea has intrigued me since the day a sports writer fell asleep on my shoulder during a Mats Wilander press conference. And he hadn’t even been drinking.