by | Nov 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press | 0 comments

The other day I saw something I could not believe, even for the NFL.

During the broadcast of the Thanksgiving game, NBC employed a sports psychologist as an additional analyst to the regular color man. A sports psychologist? On the microphone? Yes. This takes the cake. Even for pro football, this was too, too. . . .

Well. Let me give you a sample of what it was like:

ANNOUNCER: . . . and Jones picks up two yards.

COLOR GUY: Jimbo, he ran off tackle there, and they’ve been going at that spot all day long!

PSYCHOLOGIST: Yes, and the poor lineman has to be feeling bad about himself now.

COLOR GUY: Feeling bad?

PSYCHOLOGIST: Certainly. Soon depression could set in, and he may or may not be subject to mood swings when he gets home.

ANNOUNCER: Mood swings?

PSYCHOLOGIST: Kicking the dog, or punching his wife. Something like that.


COLOR GUY: Is that bad, Doctor?

PSYCHOLOGIST: Well, it can affect the self-image of a player, and ruin his self-actualization, not to mention his relationships and inner serenity. It’s nothing that can’t be taken care of by coming to my office, say, oh, five times a week.


ANNOUNCER: That’s a relief.

PSYCHOLOGIST: Let me give you my address. . . .

Forget it. Let’s get to this week’s picks. . . .

CHIEFS 27, LIONS 20: I have a feeling about this one.

NY JETS 28, CINCINNATI 27: Although I kind of like having all the teams in the AFC East with the same record of 5-5.

PHILADELPHIA 27, NEW ENGLAND 20: Maybe next week they can all be 6-6.

DENVER 21, SAN DIEGO 20: Elway. Fouts. I suggest the running backs take the day off.

BUFFALO 30, MIAMI 28: Marino. Kelly. I suggest the running ba— no, wait, I used that line already.

MINNESOTA 44, DALLAS 38: Trust me.

ST. LOUIS 14, ATLANTA 10: If these two teams switched uniforms, would anyone even notice?

WASHINGTON 30, NY GIANTS 28: Do you get the feeling the Redskins’ Super Bowl shot is over?

CLEVELAND 24, SAN FRANCISCO 21: Kosar. Montana. I think the running ba—, why does that theme keep coming up?

LA RAMS 21, TAMPA BAY 20: When was the last time these teams met and the Buccaneers had the better record?

HOUSTON 21, INDIANAPOLIS 14: The worst thing about this game is that it means something for the playoffs. Ugh.

CHICAGO 20, GREEN BAY 14: At least the Lions sacked good buddy Jim McMahon seven times last week. I was waiting for tortilla chips to come out of his pockets.

NEW ORLEANS 20, PITTSBURGH 17: Take the bags off, Saints fans. The winning record is now guaranteed.

(MONDAY NIGHT) SEATTLE 30, LA RAIDERS 20: How long do you figure before the inevitable Marcus Allen-Bo Jackson feud?



BEST PICK LAST WEEK: Pittsburgh 19, Cincinnati 17 (Pittsburgh won, 20-16).

WORST PICK LAST WEEK: Washington 20, LA Rams 12 (Rams won, 30-26). RECORD FOR THE SEASON: 64-47-1.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.

🛍 For just $2.99/mo or $29.99/year, you get access to every weekly issue

🎁 All proceeds will be donated to help the daily operations of the orphanage, Have Faith Haiti Mission

🗞 Paid subscribers also get to hear directly from the kids through the “Have Faith Haiti Chronicles.” It’s a monthly/quarterly-ish newsletter written and published by students in a media and journalism class.

Subscribe for bonus content and giveaways!