BARCELONA, Spain -- I am looking for a few good men. I am looking for men with guts. Men with honor. Mostly I am looking for men who can hold their breath for long periods of time.I am starting my own synchronized swim team.I am starting my own synchronized swim team.Sorry. Just getting in the mood.Synchronized swimmers do everything together. Everything together. They are like the Doublemint Twins. Doublemint Twins. I am starting a team. I think we can win. At the very least, we will meet a lot of women -- because this is an all- female sport.
The letters began coming a few weeks ago. They were small. Very small. I'd say they were small enough to fit inside a comic book panel.The return address read: "Riverdale, USA."There was no stamp."Please help us,' the first letter said. "Tell them it's not true." (signed) Betty.I had to use a magnifying glass to read it. The second one was much the same."It's not us." (signed) Jughead. Then came the third one."Give us a break. That guy doesn't even look like me. How are the chicks up there?" (signed) Reggie.
ST. ANDREWS, Scotland -- The world will come to like Nick Faldo. It's either that, or turn off the TV set for the next few years. So what if he plays like a dentist: drill, rinse, spit? Since when does a clinical victory count less than the others?
TORONTO -- There are certain lessons you learn as a kid that, try as you might, you can never forget: 1) An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. 2) Don't go out with wet hair. 3) Upon smashing your mother's favorite antique vase while playing Masters Of Destruction with your kid brother, always blame the dog. 4) Good pitching beats good hitting.
* NY GIANTS 20, PHOENIX 17: So Lawrence Taylor says he'll retire at the end of the season? The way the Giants were playing, I thought he retired last year.* MIAMI 23, ATLANTA 13: The only undefeated team in the AFC against the only team that has to wonder if its kick returner will get a hit in the baseball playoffs on Sunday.
MILWAUKEE -- As the winter sunlight slowly died on this, the town that made America burp, here were the Lions, trudging off the grassy County Stadium field, heads down, cleats clomping, looking like men who voted against NAFTA.And here were the Packers, dancing off the field, waving to the cheering crowd. Reggie White, the massive defensive lineman, held the No. 1 finger high over his head and twirled it around a few times, as if fly casting, or doing an Arsenio Hall impersonation."REGGIE! REGGIE! REGGIE!""HERE WE COME, REGGIE!"
Mama always said don't go looking for trouble. But this is how bad it used to be: Come the third quarter, the game was often so lopsided that the Lions' offensive linemen would say, "Damn, we're losing anyhow, let's go start a fight."And they would."One time, against Kansas City in 1987, we were just so frustrated," recalls Kevin Glover, "we decided to start a scuffle, and Keith Dorney -- remember him? -- he was swinging so much he actually got thrown out. Which was fine by him. But then the official came over and told Keith, 'Nah, forget it, just stay on in.' "
CHICAGO -- As a Detroiter I must admit that watching Michael Jordan's last-second jumper spin out of the basket into the hand of an LA Laker, and catching Jordan's frown which seemed to say, "Miss? I don't miss. How could I miss?" and hearing the Chicago crowd fall deathly silent as the Lakers jogged off the court with a Game 1 victory, and seeing the Bulls droop their shoulders and slink away, as if to say "Lose? We don't lose.
Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.
