Well, you have to admit, the guy can definitely win a tip.I mean, Yao Ming didn't control that opening jump, he knocked it into next season. If that ball were lettuce, it would be salad. If that ball were a balloon, it would land in Oz. If that ball were . . .Well, you get the idea.
Lisa Kesner is looking for a job. She used to be a flight attendant. She worked for several years on the Red Wings' private plane, where she was reportedly conscientious and safety-oriented. You know, the things you want in a flight attendant.That is, if you're a regular person, flying commercial. If you're a multimillionaire athlete, flying private, you may have different expectations.
There used to be this "Saturday Night Live" routine in which Chevy Chase, as the Weekend Update newscaster, reported on the death of Spain's dictator, Francisco Franco. Every week, Chevy would say, "This just in: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!"It's starting to get that way with Barry Sanders, isn't it? Every few months, we get a new report, a man on the microphone, a newspaper account, an eyewitness. The message is always the same: "This just in. Barry Sanders is still retired."This just in: Water is still wet.This just in: The sun is still hot.
What they did to Steve Yzerman last summer, you wouldn't wish on a prisoner. They cut his leg bone with a saw, then chiseled it until a path was opened. They wedged that path wider with a fork-like device, then inserted a steel plate, then tightened that plate with screws, then packed it with spare bone material. Then they woke him up.They call this medicine."Osteotomy" is its official name, and if you're lucky and you fully recover, you have less pain as you walk your grandkids to school. You are not supposed to resume an NHL career.
Ifinally figured out the appeal of Trista Rehn, a.k.a. "The Bachelorette."She's a guy.Oh, I don't mean physically. I mean the way she plays the game. First, she gets the ultimate guy fantasy -- a couple of dozen cuties all trying to win her affection.Then, one by one, she tries and discards them, just like a guy. And when she narrows it down to two, she tells one partner, "Don't be upset if I sleep with the other one."And the partner says OK!Are you kidding? This woman would be King of the Frat House!
The flowers at the funeral were bright and colorful, white orchids and pink carnations spreading across the pulpit. A singer wailed a plaintive hymn, "I know He holds my hand." A church elder urged the assembled to ignore the newspapers and remember that "a man's legacy is not determined by one chapter of his life." He said only those who truly knew the Lord could say who they thought He was.Then he asked the mourners: "Who do YOU think Eddie Martin was?"
Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.
