Detroit Free Press

"Who is he?" said the T."What does he want?" said the E."What's that in his hand?" said the A."What's that by his ...

Being president has its drawbacks. You could ask George W. Bush. But you could also ask Matt Millen, Joe Dumars or Dave Dombrowski. For the first time in memory, three of our team presidents are being hounded at the same time: Millen for losing his cool, Dumars for showing too much, and Dombrowski for not acquiring any.

Let's begin with the brussels sprouts. There was an attempt at a world record: Who could eat the most in one minute?"You won't want to miss this!" the host said.Now, I had no idea they kept records on brussels sprouts. But I am behind on all things British and Irish. This became clear during a book tour last week in Dublin and London.

In the end, it doesn't really matter if it was a bribe, a strong-arm or a good old-fashioned threat. What happened recently to a Michigan congressman was enough to make you give up on politics -- if you haven't already.Nick Smith, from south-central Michigan, is not a majordomo in Congress. He isn't a media lightning rod like Tom DeLay or Nancy Pelosi. But he counts. One district, one vote.

Barry Sanders said he'd been "sort of selfish." He said his departure "might have been a little clumsy." He said ...

The mark of a gentleman is that he behaves like one even when he doesn't feel like it, and Lloyd Carr didn't feel like it as he ran off at halftime of the Michigan-Ohio State game. For a moment, in ungentlemanly fashion, he let mood dictate behavior. An ABC reporter fired a question about why Michigan had just run out the clock when it had three time-outs left.Carr glared at him."Why would you ask a dumb question like that?" he said.When the reporter tried again, Carr ignored him and walked away, shaking his head as if the guy were an idiot.

Sometime in the future . . ."Grandpa, who's that man in the book?""His name is Michael Jackson. He was a famous singer.""Why is he in handcuffs?""He was accused of doing bad things to children.""And who's that?""That's Phil Spector. He was a famous music producer.""Why is he in handcuffs?""He was charged with murder.""Who's that? The man with the white hair?""That's Robert Blake. He was once a famous actor. When he was small like you, he was in the 'Little Rascals.' ""Why is he in jail?"

The judge called it "the most unusual request I've ever had."The defense attorney said, "I've never heard anything like it."Even the crook admits he never tried anything this brazen.Then again, it is Michigan-Ohio State weekend."The first thing he wanted me to do," said defense attorney Tully Rogers, "was to get him out on bond so he could watch the game. He promised to come right back. I said, 'I don't think the judge is gonna go for that. Maybe we can come up with something else.' "