WHAT WOULD you do for one more day on the job? Would you suffer ungodly pain? Go under a surgeon's knife? Take a needle in your private parts? Live on a training machine? Would you sweat, gasp, howl, yowl, lift weights, do ultrasound, stretch your muscles for so many hours, they seemed ready to slide off the bone?Would you do all this without break, endure an everyday hell for nearly two years, with no promise, no assurance, not even a ray of light at the end of the tunnel, only the belief that maybe, if the gods were so inclined, you could someday get to work one more day?
In the end, they were counting down the seconds to the next game. Six. Five. Four. Mehmet Okur, with nothing else to do, threw the ball at the basket.It swished.It was that kind of night.
He made me so mad ...I wanted to break his neck!How many times have you felt that, thought it or even said it when dealing with an airline person? Once? Twice? Countless times?But you would never DO it, right?Well, someone did. Two years ago, at Newark International Airport. A man named John Davis, a steel plant supervisor, got so upset with a gate agent that he actually broke his neck.
No, he said. He would not go onstage. He would stand near it. He would stand in front of it. But he would not go up on it. Superstition. No stages.And Dominik Hasek would not budge.So the reporters in the Joe Louis Arena news conference had to leave their seats and swarm to encircle him at ground level. Half of them ended up on the very stage that Hasek refused to ascend, poking cameras over his back and tape recorders over his head. It was a hot, uncomfortable crush. Silly, really. But the message was clear:He'd gotten this far doing it his way.
Ever since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, there have been whispers about reinstituting the draft. In some ways, that's a moot point.We've all been drafted already.We're in the Army now. We stand on guard for attack. We worry about white powder. We worry about the air that we breathe. We think the enemy may strike at anytime. We are alert. We are debriefed. We are given orders from our leaders.Isn't that how soldiers behave?
For years, I have been trying to get my mother into computers."You can e-mail me," I say."I can call you on the phone," she says."You can send pictures," I say."I can visit you in person," she says.Once again, as with pretty much everything in life, mother is proving to know best.
Eddie Drummond tried. Kick after kick, punt after punt, the Lions' return specialist rambled through defenders Sunday at Ford Field, going outside, cutting inside, delivering 20, 30, 40 yards worth of real estate, handing Detroit terrific field position. Problem was, once he got tackled, he came off the field.That left the rest of the Lions.Not ready for Prime Time. Prime Time teams don't take a breath after a good victory. Prime Time teams treat third downs like a holy grail. Prime Time teams beat opponents when they're down. Oh. And Prime Time teams complete easy passes.
'So what is your new book about?"I've been having problems with that question. When you wait six years to write something new, when you pour your heart and soul into making it good, explaining it seems hollow and unworthy."But what is it about?" How do you answer? Strangely enough, seeing those images on the anniversary of Sept. 11, I think I found a way.
EASTLANSING -- Less than a minute into Wednesday night's Michigan State-North Carolina game, the shot clocks went out, and someone had to root around in the storage closets and drag out the old corner units. Prop 'em up. Plug 'em in. So already, the night was going back in time.
Don't look now, but cable TV news just wet its pants. The story it prays for every programming day tumbled from the lips of a clean-cut young district attorney Friday afternoon, against a backdrop of the gorgeous Colorado Rockies."After much deliberation, charges were filed today against Kobe Bean Bryant," said Mark Hurlbert, the DA in Eagle County, Colo. "The defendant is charged with one count of sexual assault, a class three felony. . . ."Penalties are (if convicted) prison terms: four years to life imprisonment."
There used to be this "Saturday Night Live" routine in which Chevy Chase, as the Weekend Update newscaster, reported on the death of Spain's dictator, Francisco Franco. Every week, Chevy would say, "This just in: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!"It's starting to get that way with Barry Sanders, isn't it? Every few months, we get a new report, a man on the microphone, a newspaper account, an eyewitness. The message is always the same: "This just in. Barry Sanders is still retired."This just in: Water is still wet.This just in: The sun is still hot.
Good morning. Are you ready to kill someone?We do it Monday. All of us. We kill a man. You, me, everyone on your block.There will be no actual blood on our hands. None that we see, anyhow. But it will be there. A drop of blood. Human blood. Blood belonging to the worst mass murderer in history, Timothy McVeigh, a wicked, remorseless killer -- but blood nonetheless.
