Detroit Free Press

GAME OF GOOD CHEER, BUT NOT IN PRESS BOX

GAME OF GOOD CHEER, BUT NOT IN PRESS BOX

I pass a man who is stark naked, except for his boxer shorts. Half his body is painted blue. Half is painted yellow. He is sitting in the parking lot, tossing a football, making a "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!" sound, like a train, coming 'round the bend."Excuse me," I say, nonchalantly."Pardon me," I say.
’20/20′ GAFFE ISN’T O-TAY WITH SPANKY

’20/20′ GAFFE ISN’T O-TAY WITH SPANKY

Whenever I get a spare moment, I try to think deep and meaningful thoughts, such as what is life, who invented the split pea, and, of course, whatever happened to Buckwheat?I thought I had the answer to the last one recently, when the ABC-TV show "20/20," aired a segment claiming to have found Buckwheat, a former star of the Little Rascals comedies. According to the show, Buckwheat was working as a grocery bagger in Tempe, Ariz.
HOW LOW ARE THE LIONS? BUCS WILL BEAT ‘EM AGAIN

HOW LOW ARE THE LIONS? BUCS WILL BEAT ‘EM AGAIN

* BUCCANEERS 26, LIONS 21: And you know how much it hurts me to pick Tampa Bay to win anything.* CHICAGO 17, GREEN BAY 16: Have you noticed that Mike Ditka's press conferences are a lot more interesting than his team?* CLEVELAND 15, NEW ENGLAND 7: Oooh. Here's one you won't want to miss. * DALLAS 20, LA RAIDERS 12: Sorry, I still think Todd Marinovich is a cross between Alfred E. Neuman and Archie.
REPEATING HISTORY SHOOTS UNCOMPREHENDING BUFFALO

REPEATING HISTORY SHOOTS UNCOMPREHENDING BUFFALO

ATLANTA -- Bruce Smith, the symbol of Buffalo power, was on his knees in the end zone, the posture of surrender. All around him, Cowboys were dancing, doing high steps, mugging for the crowd. Half of them had their helmets off so the TV cameras could catch their faces. They mobbed Emmitt Smith, who had just scored a touchdown on fourth-and-one, a muscle test, yours versus ours, late in the game, the championship on the line; Smith had gone in standing up. Touchdown. Now flashbulbs exploded and rolls of toilet paper came flying from the stands.
MORRIS AND ECKERSLEY: OCTOBER OF THEIR YEARS?

MORRIS AND ECKERSLEY: OCTOBER OF THEIR YEARS?

OAKLAND, Calif. -- That sound you heard Sunday afternoon was two legends falling off the rainbow. The difference is, one landed in clover, the other flat on his back.I am talking Jack Morris. I am talking Dennis Eckersley. Once upon a time, they would have made a complete pitching staff by themselves. Let Morris go eight innings, drag him off the mound with the smoke coming from his nostrils,
STAYING CLEAN LEAVES PROBERT LOOKING GOOD

STAYING CLEAN LEAVES PROBERT LOOKING GOOD

Bob Probert was in a hot dog joint the other day when a stranger spotted him and the stranger was drunk and all of a sudden, he's Probert's best friend. He throws his arm around him, he's slobbering, "Hey, Probie!" like they're old pals."He wanted me to go muskie fishing with him," Probert says. "He kept bothering me, saying let's go, let's go, we'll have a great time. And at the end he says, 'Hey, Probie, we'll get a cooler and I'll buy the beer.'
LIONS TRASH CAN? PUT A LID ON IT

LIONS TRASH CAN? PUT A LID ON IT

I'm all for the holiday spirit, but I'm not sure about Jim Arnold's latest Christmas idea: the Detroit Lions garbage can. Arnold, the Lions punter, says you can do anything with it -- "Use it as a party can, a storage can. Fill it with cans, and it's a can can."Of course, Lions fans might have other suggestions. They might like to put the Lions' defense inside the garbage can. Or maybe the owners manual for the run 'n' shoot.

Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.

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