Dizzy is dead. He blew notes around the melody. He blew notes around the world. He was blowing them almost up till his death by cancer in a New Jersey hospital last week. And when he died, the music he made with his trumpet was replaced by another sound: applause. First from his friends, then his co- workers, then his country, then the world. It would turn, quickly, into a standing ovation, headlines, TV news stories, old footage, verbal tributes. It was the loudest the world had ever cheered him.All he had to do was die.
DALLAS -- There are nights when they drive you crazy with their excess, and nights where you want to slap them for their arrogance. And then there are nights when you really believe anything is possible with these Michigan kids. When you watch them dangled over the alligator pit, losing two starters to early foul trouble, facing a no-win situation against a darling underdog, and what do they do? They not only win, they put on a most unexpected clinic.
BOSTON -- The sneaker sat in the paint, all by itself, as if it had fallen from a shelf. The man who had been wearing it, Isiah Thomas, was on his back now, a few feet away, grabbing the foot with the sock on it, writhing in pain. Even here, 800 miles away, you could hear the groans from Detroit: "Oh, nooo. Now what?"
* SAN FRANCISCO 20, LIONS 10: If the Lions really want to bug Joe Montana, they should yell across the line: "Hey! Aren't you the guy who backs up Steve Young? Tough gig, huh?"* NEW ORLEANS 21, NY JETS 6: The Saints sent their entire starting linebacker corps to the Pro Bowl. The whole set? Is that allowed?
TAMPA, Fla. -- Normally it takes a few hours before something really idiotic happens at the Super Bowl, but this being a short week and all, it took only five minutes. Here we were Tuesday morning, the sports media, just me and 3,700 of my closest friends, being herded into Tampa Stadium for our opening interviews with the New York Giants. And the first thing I saw when we walked on the field, dancing among the players in a tight black dress, black hat, black fishnet stockings and black leather boots, was "Downtown" Julie Brown from MTV. Doing interviews. Or trying.
Who is that guy? What's keeping him up there, floating toward the -- look there he goes again, up and slam! -- he's gotta be jet-propelled or something. He comes out of nowhere, and then -- wait, there he goes again uuuuuppppp annnnnd slam! Whooee! Those long arms, the grip, the way he sucks the ball in then floats toward the hoop. He just hangs there, waiting, living in the breeze. He looks so natural, so right.
DRYDEN -- "May I see the bird, please?"I actually yelled this. I know. It is not a sentence you can picture me yelling. It is not a sentence you can picture anyone yelling, except maybe Prince Charles or Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. "May I see the bird, please?" And that's not all. Here is the whole phrase:"May I see the bird, please?" . . . BANG!Blown to pieces.
Once again, it's time for Mr. Oscar, the man with the Academy Award answers. He's the Best Boy! The Key Grip! Let's go to this year's mailbag.Dear Mr. Oscar: What is the secret of "The Crying Game?"I (boo hoo) can't tell you.Dear Mr. Oscar: If Clint Eastwood actually wins Best Actor this year, what will his acceptance speech be like?"Unnnh . . . rrrr . . . thank you . . . rrrnnn."Hey dude. I don't see "Wayne's World" nominated for nuthin', dude. What's the matter with those sphincter boys dude?Shouldn't you be in wood shop class?
Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.
