Detroit Free Press

PERFECT WORLD? WE AREN’T THAT SELFLESS

PERFECT WORLD? WE AREN’T THAT SELFLESS

November 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press
The only problem with a perfect world is so few of us want to give up anything to have one.In a perfect world, black students would be admitted to the University of Michigan under the same standards as whites. I think everyone agrees on that.And in a perfect world, white students would not have to give up their spots.And there's the rub, the yin and yang of a lawsuit filed last week by Jennifer Gratz and Patrick Hamacher.
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UNHIP FATE AWAITS THE ‘SEINFELD’ GANG

UNHIP FATE AWAITS THE ‘SEINFELD’ GANG

November 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press
Looking out the window, the first thing Jerry Seinfeld noticed was a little man running down the tarmac."De plane! De plane!" the little man yelled."Hey," Kramer said, "isn't that Tattoo from 'Fantasy Island?' ""Yeah, the midget!" said George.He looked at Jerry and smiled."Not that there's anything wrong with that!" they said in unison.They stopped and listened. Strange. No laughter. Not even a chuckle."What gives?" said Elaine. "That line always gets a laugh."
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HEIR VS. AIR’THE NEXT JORDAN’ GOES UP AGAINST THE ORIGINAL

HEIR VS. AIR’THE NEXT JORDAN’ GOES UP AGAINST THE ORIGINAL

November 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press
Grant Hill had a decision to make. Quickly now, before he answers. Mr. Jordan? Michael? Mike? He was sitting in his car, with the cellular phone set on speaker, because his buddies were cramped in there with him, hoping to hear the famous man's voice. Hurry up. What should Hill call him? Mikey? Mr. Mike? Your Highness?"Hello?""Hello . . . MJ . . . it's Grant Hill."MJ? He called him MJ?"Well, yeah," Hill laughs now. "At least I didn't say 'It's GH.' "
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IT’S THE SAME OLD SONG FOR MITCHELL AND LIONS

IT’S THE SAME OLD SONG FOR MITCHELL AND LIONS

November 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press
When you take a few months off and then come back to work -- as I do today -- it's comforting to know that certain things remain the same.Barry Sanders giveth . . ....and Scott Mitchell giveth away.That old song was sung again Sunday afternoon at the Silverdome, where it was hot enough to faint, and, thanks to Mitchell, understandable if you did. Here was Sanders scoring three touchdowns, racking up 229 yards of brilliant offense, and leaving the highlight people scrambling for film.And here was Mitchell handing the game over.Not once, but twice.
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TO GO ALL THE WAY, PICK THE WACKIEST FROM FINAL FOUR

TO GO ALL THE WAY, PICK THE WACKIEST FROM FINAL FOUR

November 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press
SEATTLE -- Anyone from North Carolina, Arkansas, Oklahoma or California can skip this column. Save your strength. As fans with teams in this year's Final Four, you already know whom you are rooting for. Besides, you have no time to read. If you are truly the robust, manly, college basketball fanatics America is so proud of, you are busy throwing up in a beer can.No. This is for the masses left behind. The fans whose schools were knocked out early in the tournament. (Did I say Michigan? Did I say Michigan State? I didn't say that! Did I say that?)
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RUDELY WELCOMEDANGER OVER STRIKE ISN’T BASEBALL’S ONLY PROBLEM

RUDELY WELCOMEDANGER OVER STRIKE ISN’T BASEBALL’S ONLY PROBLEM

November 21, 2008 | Detroit Free Press
Good news from the Home Opener! We saw some impressive arms down at Tiger Stadium!Unfortunately, they were all throwing toilet paper.And pizza boxes. And little plastic magnets. And, oh yes, beach balls. There were, according to one unofficial count, 22 beach balls tossed onto the field in the first inning alone. They bounced around, the game was stopped, security workers scooped them up, and the bleacher crowd roared.Only in the '90s could beach balls become social protest.
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Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.

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