Detroit Free Press

MIAMI -- OK, I know all about Steve Young and his quest for acceptance. But what about the other guy? Stan Humphries limped through a game this season

LONDON -- Yes, once again, it's time for our annual report on our forefathers across the pond, the people who gave back Hong Kong but kept the Spice Girls, the people for whom the Fourth of July is simply another lousy day in the colony business, yes, I'm talking about the Brits.What's 'appening ovah 'ere?

To: President Bill ClintonThe White HouseWashington, D.C.Dear Mr. President:We, the citizens of Detroit, can't tell you how thrilled we are that our Red Wings are facing a Washington, D.C., hockey team for the Stanley Cup. The prospect of you attending a Wings game is truly exciting.I believe you know our team. They were guests at the White House. No sir, they didn't stay in the Lincoln Bedroom. We don't have that kind of money. We had to give it to Sergei Fedorov.

CHICAGO -- As someone once said, if you're going to lose a game by forgetting your style, getting slammed on the boards, misplacing your scoring touch, half-hearting your defense, and generally lacking the speed, strength and desire that brought you your success, you might as well do it when you're up three games to none.

DENVER -- The dream died in the mountains, a mile above sea level, where the air is thin and it is difficult to breathe. And as cold reality sank in -- one goal behind, two goals behind, three goals behind -- you could feel the Red Wings players gasping, suffocating, all the good things they had done this season crashing to earth like a boulder during an avalanche. Or should we say, Avalanche?Snowed under.

ATLANTA -- This won't make me any friends in New York, but I'll say it anyhow. I don't like seeing Yankees outfielder Darryl Strawberry in this World Series. It rubs me the wrong way.

First of all, Wayne Fontes is still the coach of the Lions. I don't fire him. You don't fire him. All the pundits on radio and TV don't fire him. That task is for someone named Ford, and if you go by the history of that name and this team, well, there's no telling what might happen.But just as we do our Christmas shopping early for a holiday that is still weeks off, perhaps the Fords already are thinking about a new man for the job, even though the current coach has three games left to endure, er, play.