Detroit Free Press

TENDERFOOT MAKES HIMSELF AT HOME ON THE RANGE

TENDERFOOT MAKES HIMSELF AT HOME ON THE RANGE

PRYOR, Mont. -- These are grown men talking:"HO, CATTLE! . . . yo, cattle, yo, cattle! . . . EEEEE YUTYUTYUT! . . . move, you no-goods . . . AGGAGAGAGAGA! . . . HO, CATTLE! YO, CATTLE!"This is not normal conversation. Then again, we are talking to cows. Not we, exactly, because I am on a horse with my mouth open in utter disbelief. But the other people here at the Schively Ranch are instructing the cows to -- in cowboy talk -- git.Git?
THESE THREE WINGS ARE TOUGH ENOUGH

THESE THREE WINGS ARE TOUGH ENOUGH

I must admit, I was a little worried when the Red Wings traded Joey Kocur a few weeks ago. After all, hockey is a tough sport. And in giving up Kocur, the Wings were giving up one of the toughest guys around.I don't want to say Joey spent a lot of time punching opponents. I will say I once looked at him and said, "Hey, nice leather gloves.""Those are my hands," he said.
WERE THEY TRYING TO MAKE ’90 LOOK GOOD BY COMPARISON?

WERE THEY TRYING TO MAKE ’90 LOOK GOOD BY COMPARISON?

WASHINGTON -- Hey, bus driver. Pull over. Let me off. I am not taking this ride again with the Lions. Not if Sunday night was the destination. You can drop me right here, thank you. I'll walk the rest of football season. It has to be better than watching interceptions, missed tackles, slips, drops, fumbles, stumbles, blown coverages, bad special teams, sacks, balls flying over receivers' heads, no pass rush, stupid penalties and countless touchdown dances by the other team.Hmm. Did I leave anything out?
EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WHERE’S MY MINI-BAR?

EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WHERE’S MY MINI-BAR?

NEWS ITEM -- For the first time in history, NBA players will compete for the U.S. Olympic basketball team. This week, Sports Illustrated printed a "projected" Olympic starting five on its cover -- Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley and Karl Malone. While all of them are multi- millionaires, none will be paid for the Olympic experience. They say they can adjust. . . . Barcelona 1992GUIDE: "Buenos dias, gentlemen, and welcome to the Olympic Village. My name is Emilio. I am your guide. And these are your rooms."
IF IT’S DECEMBER, THIS MUST BE THE ROSE BOWL

IF IT’S DECEMBER, THIS MUST BE THE ROSE BOWL

HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. -- I plop on the hotel bed. I turn on the reading light. Here, in my lap, are rosters, old newspapers, and media guides. I blow off the dust.It is bowl week.Time to relearn everything."Let's see," I say. "Michigan. OK. I know they had a decent season. I think they won the Big Ten. It seems to me there was something about ties, wasn't there? Lots of ties?"
SCARS FROM THE PAST WOULD HEAL WITH CUP

SCARS FROM THE PAST WOULD HEAL WITH CUP

Steve Yzerman looks like hell. Or as much as a heartthrob can look like hell. The left side of his face has a red mark from forehead to chin -- "a glove cut," he says -- and his pouty upper lip still has the vertical scar from 30 stitches, turning it purple and slightly swollen.
ISN’T IT ABOUT TIME DUMARS GOT HIS DUE?

ISN’T IT ABOUT TIME DUMARS GOT HIS DUE?

He came back to the bench during every time-out, sweating like a coal miner. He did not look up, not at the screaming crowd, not at his teammates, not at his coaches. He had a semi- dazed expression that seemed to say, "Don't bother me, now. I'm working."

Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.

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