IGOR Larionov always had been a quiet man, but this was a different silence. Here, in the year he would turn 40, he was playing out the final days of his contract. An offer he once deemed "insulting" had been pulled off the table with nothing offered in its place. He was facing an ugly truth, one all athletes face sooner or later. His reputation was exceeding his productivity.
Let me get this straight. The starting quarterback leaves, and the backup has a good day. The starting running back is injured, and the backups have a coming out party. The starting kick returner is gone, and the backup has huge numbers.Hmm. If we can just get the starting receivers, cornerbacks and defensive linemen out of there, this team might win a few games.
Why is the average American confused about Iraq? Let me count the ways:One side says Saddam Hussein is a madman aiming for our destruction.The other side says he is a fourth-rate dictator who can barely threaten his neighbors.One side says in three months Hussein could have a nuclear bomb ready to use against us.The other side says Hussein is five to 10 years away -- and only if he gets help.One side says Saddam and Al Qaeda are buddy-buddy terrorists, united by a thirst for American blood.
Thwack-thwack. The sound of stick meeting puck meeting stick. It haunted the Red Wings all night Thursday, the way a heartbeat haunted that guy from that Edgar Allan Poe story. Thwack-thwack. Every good shot. Every wide-open chance. Power plays. Rushes. From behind the net. From right in front. Thwack-thwack. The echo of futility. The Carolina Hurricanes were blocking the Wings like some whack-a-mole game gone berserk. Nearly 30 Red Wings chances never got past the opposing Hurricanes player.
And his name is Chauncey.He was not the most famous guard on the floor Wednesday night. That distinction belonged to a guy named Kobe. You know Kobe? Best player in the NBA these days? Speaks Italian? Scores 40 points the way Sergei Fedorov skates a circle?Kobe was the famous one, the richer one, the Chosen One. He came out of high school and has been with one team ever since, the L.A. Lakers, winning three championship rings by his 24th birthday.
If you think this means the end of rape, forget it.If you think this means the end of gold digging, forget that, too.If you think the sudden vaporizing of the Kobe Bryant trial means young women will no longer wander starry-eyed into hotel rooms of athletes they just met, wake up.And if you think NBA stars will be more careful about the women they cheat with on the road, well, there's some swampland in New Jersey we'd like to sell you.
You can't just join Augusta National Golf Club. You must be asked. But you can't ask to be asked. Or you'll never be asked.There is no waiting list. There is no application process. You either get a letter in the mail or you don't.If you do, you can join for that year. If you don't, you're out, even if you were a member last year. No one knows how you get chosen. No one knows how you get dropped.And no one explains.This we know: Since Augusta opened 70 years ago, no woman has been asked to join. But Lou Holtz has.
There is alone, there is lonesome, and there is the loneliest man in sports. Manny Legace, the Red Wings' goaltender, went through all three phases Wednesday night -- and it took him only two minutes.First, he was alone. After all, he was making his first playoff start at age 31. He'd gone from "second backup" to "first backup" to "only healthy option." Eleven years in professional hockey, and finally, the net is yours? You face such moments by yourself, alone, and alone he was, to start the game.
SALT LAKE CITY -- "REPRESENTING THE UNITED STATES, TODD ELDREDGE."They come to the Games in search of a name. "Olympic champion." "Olympic gold medalist." No matter the sport, no matter the nation, the dream is the same: Everyone wants new syllables.
Here's the thing about the human heart: You can't legislate it. You can't make laws requiring people to like broccoli. You can't force people into theaters to see "Gigli."And it's the reason the NFL's minority hiring policy is seriously flawed.The Detroit Lions know this now, after team president Matt Millen was fined $200,000 by the league. His crime? He failed to interview a minority candidate before hiring Steve Mariucci, a white man, as his head coach. Under the NFL policy, you must interview at least one minority or face punishment.
My ears are for sale. Left. Right. For the right price, you may have them both. Or, I should say, rent them. Your message here. On my ears. I am joining the 21st Century. I am becoming a billboard.Hey. Why should I -- JUST DO IT! -- miss out -- FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES! -- on the trend? -- THINK FORD FIRST!After all, things you never thought of as advertising space are now becoming -- OBEY YOUR THIRST! -- advertising space. Like police cars.
THE SPARTANS left for the Final Four on Wednesday night, most of them thinking glory and championships. One of them was thinking about the bus ride. And the plane ride. And the locker room.And it makes him nearly as happy as hitting a winning jumper."I may run home and get my camcorder, just to film all the little stuff," he says.
