Detroit Free Press

No way he should be playing. Not after what he did. A baseball player spits in the face of an umpire, and here he ...

Whenever this country starts to depress me -- more and more these days, I'm afraid -- I think back a few years to a time in New York City, when I was a social worker. I ran an after- school program for 5- and 6-year-olds. They would line up each day at the bottom of the stairs, then wait until I blew a whistle.

He came to this country in the trunk of a car, in the middle of the night, sneaking across the border, whispering, ...

Receivers are like puppies, they all want to play with the ball. When they don't get it they yap. And they keep ...

ST. GEORGE, Utah -- "Where's the soap?""You don't need it," I was told. "Just wipe yourself with that mitt.""The one with mustard on it?""It's not mustard, it's a mixture of ash, rainwater, sand and juniper berry extracts.""OK. Where's the towel?""You don't need one.""But when I finish showering?""Dry yourself with the other mitt.""The one with ketchup on it?""It's not ketchup, it's moisturizer made with olive oil, gardenias and grapefruit.""Oh . . . that mitt."

PHILADELPHIA-- As reporters gathered outside the Lions' locker room after yet another early-season loss, they pulled out their notepads and prepared to face the players. One guy looked around and mumbled, "Anyone got any new questions I can use?"It was a grim but accurate statement about pro football in Detroit. Same questions. Same answers. Same dull toothache. The Lions, under Wayne Fontes, play their games the way they play their seasons -- too casual at the start, a mad rush at the end. Almost always, they come up short, talking about "next week."

Alvin Harper was so alone, he could have shot off a flare. He waved his hands. He jumped up and down. And, as is often the case with his team, he watched as the ball went somewhere else, the wrong place, thrown by a quarterback who has a lot to learn. Harper walked slowly back to the Tampa Bay huddle, shaking his head, wearing those silly orange pants.