Detroit Free Press

THE QUARTERBACK AND HIS KEEPER ELWAY MEETS DESTINY WITH SUPER MOXIE

THE QUARTERBACK AND HIS KEEPER ELWAY MEETS DESTINY WITH SUPER MOXIE

ANAHEIM -- "John?""Yeah?""Can I get two minut--""Excuse me. You'll have to get John in the press conference.""Sorry.""This way, John.""Where we goin'?""Over here, big room.""John?""I--""Not now, guys, John's got a press conference.""Sorry.""That him?""Where?""Right there, stupid!""Oooh . . . ""John Eh-way?""Yeah?""We are from Japan.""Really?""We, um--""John, let's go.""Sorry, guys I--""This way, John.""This door?"
THIS ARENA FOOTBALL SIMPLY TOO WEIRD

THIS ARENA FOOTBALL SIMPLY TOO WEIRD

I have a new job. I just found out. I am now the official Sports Writer Of The Weird And Strange. I learned this as I was getting ready for Thursday night's NBA playoff game between the Pistons and the Bullets."Change of plans," said my boss. "You're covering opening night of the Detroit Drive.""I beg your pardon?""Arena football. The 50-yard war. New sport.""I beg your pardon?"
A SHOT IN DARK FOR GUAM BIATHLETE ITS LONE OLYMPIAN

A SHOT IN DARK FOR GUAM BIATHLETE ITS LONE OLYMPIAN

CALGARY, Alberta -- Once upon a time, before blimps, the Olympics worked like this: You grew up in a small town, you sailed to some foreign place, you competed, you won a medal, you sailed home and got invited to all the good parties. This was a fine system, because you always knew where to find a former Olympian in case he owed you money. You needed Jurgen, the Swedish ski jumper, you went to Sweden and looked around.
JUST WHAT WINGS NEED: A CALL TO (EIGHT) ARMS

JUST WHAT WINGS NEED: A CALL TO (EIGHT) ARMS

TORONTO -- Don't move. I have an octopus.I grin at the mirror as I speak those words. I am cool. I am ready. I am like Robert DeNiro in "Taxi Driver," a man with a secret and a weapon to back him up. I am from Detroit. I have an octopus. "Are you talking to me?" I ask my image, with a sudden stare. "Are you talking to . . . me?"Heh, heh.
PEETE: BETTER LATE THAN NEVERLIONS’ ROOKIE SAVORS CHANCE TO PLAY IN NFL

PEETE: BETTER LATE THAN NEVERLIONS’ ROOKIE SAVORS CHANCE TO PLAY IN NFL

Once upon a time -- last year, I believe -- when Rodney Peete got the measles, the whole country got the measles. He would flick on the hospital TV and see updates on his condition. The nurse would deliver a newspaper, and he would see his face on the front page. "PEETE TO MISS BIG GAME?" So intense was the media crush, that the hospital switchboard had to use three phony names to ward off reporters."I was registered under 'Willie Jackson' one night, and some guy still got through," Peete recalls. "He said, 'Is Rodney Peete there?' I said, 'Sorry, you have the wrong room.' "
FERGUSON TO CHADWICK SET THE TONE

FERGUSON TO CHADWICK SET THE TONE

TAMPA, Fla. -- Chuck Long's first pro pass might have received more attention, but the throw that really made the difference Sunday came from Joe Ferguson, who, you might have noticed, played the first 57 minutes and 54 seconds at quarterback.It was early in the game, just over eight minutes left in the first quarter, and Ferguson had thrown three times. One short completion, one incompletion, one interception. The score was 0-0. Ferguson stepped up to the line on a first-and-10 from the Lions' 26, looked to his left and liked what he saw.
BENGALS, ICKEY DANCE TO TOP OF AFC CHART

BENGALS, ICKEY DANCE TO TOP OF AFC CHART

CINCINNATI -- OK. Let's see if we got this straight. You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put the football in and you shake it all about, you do the Ickey Shuffle and you wiggle all ar--Well. OK. So we'll work on it. I guess we'll have to. Because the Cincinnati Bengals -- last year's bargain in the AFC basement -- are going to the Super Bowl to face the 49ers. Cincinnati? Yes. Cincinnati. With a platinum blond quarterback and a coach who goes from bum to genius and a cast named Boomer, Max, Turk, Krumrie, Buck, Billups and, of course . . . Ickey.
THESE PICKS COME WITH BLOOD, NOT KETCHUP

THESE PICKS COME WITH BLOOD, NOT KETCHUP

ATTN: OFFICE. STOP. AM HOT ON BASEBALL'S TRAIL. STOP. SO HOT, I FORGOT ABOUT FOOTBALL. STOP. SORRY. STOP. SENDING PICKS FROM WAITRESS I MET INSTEAD. STOP. DON'T WORRY. STOP. SHE IS EXPERT. STOP. DON'T MIND KETCHUP STAINS. STOP. SHE DID THEM IN KITCHEN. STOP. HA-HA. STOP. HAD YOU FOOLED, DIDN'T I? STOP. THAT'S NOT KETCHUP. STOP. IT'S BLOOD, AS USUAL. STOP.AND NOW, THE PICKS . . .

Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.

Subscribe for bonus content and giveaways!