"Michigan," I whisper."YOU JERK!""But--""HOW CAN YOU BE FOR MICHIGAN? DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT MICHIGAN? THEY CHOKE! THEY BLOW IT! THEY EAT SOUP ON PLATES BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID OF BOWLS! MICHIGAN? WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF HIPPIE FREAK? YOU---""Michigan State?" I whisper."DIRT BAG!""But I-- dirt bag?"HOW CAN YOU BE FOR MICHIGAN STATE? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO MICHIGAN STATE?THEY MAJOR IN BEER! THEY STUDY EARTH SCIENCE! WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT MOO U.? DUH-UHHH! MOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU, SOME DUMB JOCK? MOOO!"
I am glad the Lions have a new coach. And I hope he does well. But in order to save his job for next year, Wayne Fontes must improve morale, sharpen up the offense and win games.Plus, he must establish a coaching personality. As a defensive co-ordinator, Fontes was known as a nice guy who was liked by his players.Good. But head coaching is a different animal. You need a style. You need a gig. You need . . . an act.But which act to choose?
I am glad the Lions have a new coach. And I hope he does well. But in order to save his job for next year, Wayne Fontes must improve morale, sharpen up the offense and win games.Plus, he must establish a coaching personality. As a defensive co-ordinator, Fontes was known as a nice guy who was liked by his players.Good. But head coaching is a different animal. You need a style. You need a gig. You need . . . an act.But which act to choose?
NEW YORK -- Say what you will about John McEnroe, the Prince of Pout, the Court Crybaby, the No. 1 male tennis player in the world. If nothing else, he is a fighter. And on center court at the U.S. Open, when your survival is on the line and it's about a million degrees and you're losing bad and 20,000 New Yorkers are screaming at you and a Swedish robot across the net is picking you apart, well, being a fighter is what it's about.
NEW YORK -- Say what you will about John McEnroe, the Prince of Pout, the Court Crybaby, the No. 1 male tennis player in the world. If nothing else, he is a fighter. And on center court at the U.S. Open, when your survival is on the line and it's about a million degrees and you're losing bad and 20,000 New Yorkers are screaming at you and a Swedish robot across the net is picking you apart, well, being a fighter is what it's about.
And then, depression set in.What else was left? The Lions had just been penalized, tripped, whacked, rushed, fooled, intercepted and, finally, beaten in the closing seconds, 24-17, by the Cincinnati Bengals. Three defeats in the last three weeks. Their best hope for the playoffs is now TicketWorld.How did they lose this? Let me count the flags.Second quarter, Lions driving deep into Cincinnati territory. Eric Hipple back to pass -- and it's complete, a first down!What's that yellow thing?"PENALTY. ILLEGAL USE OF HANDS."
I'm starting my own hall of fame. For hoopla. I call it The Hoopla Hall Of Fame. It will be truly amazing and unbelievably fantastic.All the BIG NAMES will be in it. You know. The sports heroes the media have decided you cannot live without for more than five minutes.William (The Refrigerator) Perry will be in my Hall of Fame, posing with a GE Frost-Free. Boris Becker will be there, too. Right next to Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.
And then, depression set in.What else was left? The Lions had just been penalized, tripped, whacked, rushed, fooled, intercepted and, finally, beaten in the closing seconds, 24-17, by the Cincinnati Bengals. Three defeats in the last three weeks. Their best hope for the playoffs is now TicketWorld.How did they lose this? Let me count the flags.Second quarter, Lions driving deep into Cincinnati territory. Eric Hipple back to pass -- and it's complete, a first down!What's that yellow thing?"PENALTY. ILLEGAL USE OF HANDS."
Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.
