CALGARY, Alberta -- Finally, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you the Olympic 90-meter ski jump, where the burning question remains: Can a man they call "The Flying Finn" be upstaged by a clumsy, bespectacled Brit who once bit off his tongue?Strange but true. Remember, this is an event where grown men ski off a huge ramp and fly into the wild blue yonder -- without a pole, much less a parachute. No wonder the Canadian winds kept postponing this thing: Chinooks are attracted to shnooks.
ST. LOUIS -- At first, the tarp wasn't talking."Get away from me," it mumbled. "I don't need no cheesehead reporters around me now."Hours earlier, the tarp had committed the most heinous crime of this NL playoff. During batting practice, it had rolled up the leg of an unsuspecting Vince Coleman, the Cardinals' prize rookie, trapping him under the weight of its 1,200 pounds until teammates could pull him free.
ANAHEIM -- "John?""Yeah?""Can I get two minut--""Excuse me. You'll have to get John in the press conference.""Sorry.""This way, John.""Where we goin'?""Over here, big room.""John?""I--""Not now, guys, John's got a press conference.""Sorry.""That him?""Where?""Right there, stupid!""Oooh . . . ""John Eh-way?""Yeah?""We are from Japan.""Really?""We, um--""John, let's go.""Sorry, guys I--""This way, John.""This door?"
I have a new job. I just found out. I am now the official Sports Writer Of The Weird And Strange. I learned this as I was getting ready for Thursday night's NBA playoff game between the Pistons and the Bullets."Change of plans," said my boss. "You're covering opening night of the Detroit Drive.""I beg your pardon?""Arena football. The 50-yard war. New sport.""I beg your pardon?"
CALGARY, Alberta -- Once upon a time, before blimps, the Olympics worked like this: You grew up in a small town, you sailed to some foreign place, you competed, you won a medal, you sailed home and got invited to all the good parties. This was a fine system, because you always knew where to find a former Olympian in case he owed you money. You needed Jurgen, the Swedish ski jumper, you went to Sweden and looked around.
TORONTO -- Don't move. I have an octopus.I grin at the mirror as I speak those words. I am cool. I am ready. I am like Robert DeNiro in "Taxi Driver," a man with a secret and a weapon to back him up. I am from Detroit. I have an octopus. "Are you talking to me?" I ask my image, with a sudden stare. "Are you talking to . . . me?"Heh, heh.
Once upon a time -- last year, I believe -- when Rodney Peete got the measles, the whole country got the measles. He would flick on the hospital TV and see updates on his condition. The nurse would deliver a newspaper, and he would see his face on the front page. "PEETE TO MISS BIG GAME?" So intense was the media crush, that the hospital switchboard had to use three phony names to ward off reporters."I was registered under 'Willie Jackson' one night, and some guy still got through," Peete recalls. "He said, 'Is Rodney Peete there?' I said, 'Sorry, you have the wrong room.' "
TAMPA, Fla. -- Chuck Long's first pro pass might have received more attention, but the throw that really made the difference Sunday came from Joe Ferguson, who, you might have noticed, played the first 57 minutes and 54 seconds at quarterback.It was early in the game, just over eight minutes left in the first quarter, and Ferguson had thrown three times. One short completion, one incompletion, one interception. The score was 0-0. Ferguson stepped up to the line on a first-and-10 from the Lions' 26, looked to his left and liked what he saw.
Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.
