"Don't want no short people round here. . . ."Randy NewmanThis is great. This is really great. I am standing in the cafeteria of the Lions' training camp, talking to several players, and I am looking at them eye to eye. My neck does not ache. They do not threaten to step on me. They are my size. This is great.
Joe Bushofsky does not look like a killer. His face is wide and soft with the smile of a favorite uncle. But when you enter his office, especially during the last few weeks of NFL training camp, chances are something's going to die. And most likely it's your dreams.
EDMONTON, Alberta -- Long before the puck was dropped here Wednesday night, before the Detroit hockey season saw its sad and bitter conclusion with that final 8-4 loss to Edmonton, there was a crack in the heart of this Red Wings team. It may take a long, long time to mend.We are talking about an incident that left half the team angry, and its coach almost numb with disbelief. It is not a story I want to write. It is not a story you want to read -- not this morning, when we should be paying tribute to the fine effort of the Wings all year.
"This whole thing has been like a movie -- 'The Negotiation of Lance Parrish.' It's ridiculous. This is not how I wanted my name in the papers. . . . "Lance Parrish, after signing with Philadelphia CLEARWATER, Fla. -- He pulled the new uniform over his broad shoulders and tugged on the zipper. Up came the pants around his waist, and the red belt went through the loops."It fits," he mumbled."Pinstripes," said an observer. "Nice. You look like an inmate.""Yeah?" He smirked at the irony.
BOSTON -- In the end, they were playing for their lives. This was more than basketball, this was deeper than a win or a loss. With two overtimes and a tapestry of magical, pressure-soaked basketball behind them, the Detroit Pistons were beyond hoops, beyond free throws. They were staring their very manhood in the eye.
SEOUL, South Korea -- She wins. Hands down. They can stop the Olympics now, because America has found its sweetheart, its new Mary Lou. If that smile doesn't get her on television, billboards and Wheaties boxes from Maine to Mexico, then somebody's sleeping on the job."How are you coming on your homework?" someone asked Janet Evans, 17, after she won her third and final gold medal Saturday in the 800-meter freestyle swim."No comment," she giggled."What does that mean?""It means I'm doing it on the plane home."
NEW ORLEANS -- They cannot help it. It is in their blood now. They see a football and they have to strip it.Kickoffs. It happens on kickoffs. And punts. And running plays and passing plays -- it can happen then, too. Anytime the other team has the ball. It is in their blood now. They cannot help it.The New England Patriots play strip football.It is largely the reason they are in the Super Bowl. It is probably their best tool for winning it. Strip the ball from the opponent's grasp, pounce on it, maybe pick it up and run it in for a touchdown.
ST. LOUIS -- Sometimes you get kicked upstairs and sometimes you just move over a few seats. Red Schoendienst, who was fired by these Cardinals once upon a time, now sits on their bench, and, although the team is in the World Series, he goes virtually unnoticed. He came out Wednesday a few hours before Game 4, grabbed a fungo bat and walked to the field past dozens of reporters. No one even looked up.
BOSTON -- It was out there, ugly, its green shoulders squared and tight, like a bully just daring the new kid to open his mouth. Hey, not even the locals were touching The Wall. For 12 World Series innings, it remained untoppled. Oh, there were a few whacks off its side -- a double, a long single -- but The Wall spit those back like watermelon seeds.
The phone call came in the morning, and by noon he had emptied his locker at Tiger Stadium and was headed for the parking lot. Nobody was around. That was fine. That was better."Throw some stuff in the car, hit the road, and I'm outta here," said Darnell Coles, making a herky-jerky motion with his arm. "Goodby to this place."
Well, I'd like to be a nice guy and say this latest Lions loss wasn't so bad. I'd also like to look myself in the mirror this morning.The truth is, this was pathetic.Tampa Bay? The Lions lost, 24-20, to Tampa Bay? At home? Please. And they wonder why the Silverdome was half-empty."How would you evaluate your team?" someone asked Darryl Rogers after the defeat."This isn't a particularly good time to ask me that question," Rogers said.
TORONTO -- The throw went straight from second base to second place. Too low, too hard, it ricocheted past catcher Mike Heath, and as Toronto's Manny Lee raced across the plate with the winning run, the crowd inside Exhibition Stadium leapt to its feet in giddy delight. They won this? The Blue Jays won it? The Tigers lost it? Are you kidding?
