MINNEAPOLIS -- I would like to tell you how this dead skunk of a football game ended, but I must admit, I stopped watching somewhere between the Vikings' third touchdown and the Lions' fifth stupid penalty -- which, I believe, was about nine seconds into the game. Talk about quick death! I could have left the stadium knowing the outcome of this game and scalped my tickets to fans still coming in.
OAKLAND, Calif. -- That sound you heard Sunday afternoon was two legends falling off the rainbow. The difference is, one landed in clover, the other flat on his back.I am talking Jack Morris. I am talking Dennis Eckersley. Once upon a time, they would have made a complete pitching staff by themselves. Let Morris go eight innings, drag him off the mound with the smoke coming from his nostrils,
News Item:The first of several presidential debates will be tonight in St. Louis. George Bush, Bill Clinton and Ross Perot are promising to concentrate on the issues. . . . MODERATOR: Welcome to the presidential debates. Gentlemen, please introduce yourselves.CLINTON: Hello, George. BUSH: Hello, Comrade.PEROT: Be nice, boys, or I'll fire ya.MODERATOR: Ahem. Now then. Let's begin with a question on the economy. Gentlemen, what is wrong with the U.S. economy and what will you do about it if elected president?
* NY GIANTS 20, PHOENIX 17: So Lawrence Taylor says he'll retire at the end of the season? The way the Giants were playing, I thought he retired last year.* MIAMI 23, ATLANTA 13: The only undefeated team in the AFC against the only team that has to wonder if its kick returner will get a hit in the baseball playoffs on Sunday.
So when does hockey season start?If that was the last best playoff chance for our football team -- and some people think it was -- we might as well get real, grab our coats, shut the photo album. Not that Sunday afternoon's finish was much to remember: Rodney Peete, chased like a criminal, sacked like potatoes. Willie Green, diving in the turf for a ball that was 10 feet away. The crowd leaving, booing, as Scott Conover, an offensive lineman, is called for yet another Detroit false start . . .False start?
Mitch Albom writes about running an orphanage in impoverished Port-au-Prince, Haiti, his kids, their hardships, laughs and challenges, and the life lessons he’s learned there every day.
